Disney World (Almost) Had A Ride For Kids To Murder Gangsters

Back in 1990, Disney went hard marketing their new movie about a cop in a yellow trench coat who takes on the mob, which, oddly enough, is made up entirely of freakishly misshapen mutant-people. There were Dick Tracy action figures, costumes, books, and video games. Not to mention the veritable tsunami of t-shirts; Disney literally sold t-shirts that doubled as a ticket to the film, which hopefully ushers didn’t feel compelled to rip. 

Also, Disney had machinations to turn their new, surefire blockbuster hit into a ride. This makes sense in some ways, seeing as so many Disney films have been turned into successful theme park attractions. But on the other hand, this was a movie in which the hero literally murders the crap out of people with a machine gun.

Rather than shy away from the “gangland killings” aspects of the story, Disney was going to make this the entire premise of the ride. The proposed attraction would have been the centerpiece of a “​​small Chicago-themed area” and involved hopping in a classic car equipped with fake Tommy guns. It would have basically been like that Buzz Lightyear ride – but instead of zapping robots with lasers, you’d literally be firing bullets at old-timey criminals.

Parents never even had the chance to flip out at the concept of equipping their children with faux firearms for this violent, prohibition-era fantasy, because the movie only just recouped the whopping $100 million it cost to produce and market. So, despite its modest success, it was generally considered to be a disappointment, and the ride was never built. At least we can still buy those “admit one” t-shirts on eBay for $70, just in case any theaters are still accepting them.

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Top Image: Touchstone Pictures