Four People Who Won Elections From Jail
Typically, it works the opposite way. So maybe this is better?
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- By Amanda Mannen
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2
2 25 Secrets Overheard by Taxi Drivers
‘People planning a murder at the location I’m dropping them off’
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Larry the Bar Fly Had to Die to Make ‘The Simpsons’ Relevant Again
A new ‘Simpsons’ episode gave us the last glimpse of a familiar face, but was it enough to make us care?
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An actual Ronald McDonald got sued by McDonald’s — and won
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33 Random Bits of Trivia We Found in a Pot at the End of a Rainbow
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JM McNab
We mentioned last fall that airline pilots in Los Angeles had reported seeing a dude flying around in a jetpack 3000 feet in the air. Presumably, after those pilots were forced to provide a urine sample, it became clear that it wasn’t an isolated incident. There have now been multiple sightings of this rogue jetpacker in the skies above L.A. in the past year …
… making us all wonder if this was perhaps just some kind of misguided viral marketing stunt for the new Rocketeer reboot. But in a chilling testament to the Walt Disney Company’s stranglehold on popular culture, it turns out that both the go-to joke explanation and the actual potential explanation involve characters owned by that particular mega-corporation …
Since we live in an apocalyptic hellscape and not a Jetsons-esque utopia, reports of unsanctioned jetpack flights were taken extremely seriously, prompting an investigation conducted by the F.A.A. and the F.B.I. Now, these two very serious organizations have a “working theory” to explain the mysterious sightings: it’s, um … Jack Skellington?
What’s this? Yeah, NBC 4 News in Los Angeles first shed some light on the case after they “obtained police video and photos that appear to show a human-shaped inflatable toy floating above Beverly Hills,” which seemed to be shaped like the Pumpkin King himself from the holiday stop-motion classic The Nightmare Before Christmas. It turns out that a life-sized, inflatable Jack Skellington is apparently a thing you can buy, either to use for decoration or as the world’s gothiest sex toy.
Feds now think that the other sightings could have similarly been balloons, which “fits with some other findings” like how it was “all but impossible” for someone to fly a jetpack above LAX and then suddenly vanish. We don’t know for sure if they were all themed around The Nightmare Before Christmas, but they almost certainly weren’t Corpse Bride balloons.
You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter!
Top Image: Disney
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