Thanks to DC, Batman Is Canonically Bad In Bed

But Ant-Man on the other hand ...
Thanks to DC, Batman Is Canonically Bad In Bed

Furthering its distinction as the foremost technical wonder of global communication, the internet this week played host to the “Would Batman eat out Catwoman?” debate. It all began with an interview in Variety featuring Harley Quinn showrunners Justin Halpern and Patrick Schumacker. The pair recounted an anecdote about when they pitched an episode that happened to feature Batman performing oral sex on Catwoman and DC said no, claiming that “heroes don’t do that” and “It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.”

Okay, first of all, toy-wise would “Cunnilingus Batman” really tarnish the brand much more than “Buccaneer Batman,” an honest-to-goodness pirate-based Batman action figure some of us were stupid enough to buy back in 1991? Secondly, even Halpern and Schumacker took issue with the notion that heroes shouldn’t satisfy their sexual partners -- as did Batman himself; the voice actor behind the Caped Crusader of Harley Quinn (and before that The Brave and the Bold) Diedrich Bader.

It's especially dumb because over at the less-square, leather jacket-wearing, toothpick-chomping, comics publisher Marvel, a fun-size Hank Pym/Ant-Man was seen pleasuring his wife Janet van Dyne/The Wasp (dyning out, if you will) in the pages of an Avengers comic – which fits with his actor, Michael Douglas. Of course, they were also cool with issues featuring the Eric O'Grady incarnation of Ant-Man using his powers to peep on Captain Marvel in the shower, so it's ultimately kind of a mixed bag

And Hank went first. None of that, “I owe you one,” nonsense.

Ant-Man's bedroom skills aside, it's also kind of weird that DC would have a problem with this scene considering that it wasn't so long ago that they released a Harley Quinn animated movie in which she gives a captive Nightwing a boner, then climbs on top of him. Once again confirming that Hollywood is only interested in examining female sexual gratification when it involves Dr. Beverly Crusher being brought to climax by an amorphous green ghost-cloud.

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Top Image: DC Comics

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