US Military Accidentally Invades Bulgarian Oilve Oil Factory

Well, folks, it seems even olive oil isn't safe from the oil-hungry, invading forces of the United States armed forces – on Tuesday, the U.S. Army issued an apology after several soldiers accidentally invaded an olive oil factory during a training exercise in Bulgaria, likely to the terror of the workers trying to make the delicious condiment in peace.

“On May 11, soldiers entered and cleared a building next to the airfield that they believed was part of the training area, but that was occupied by Bulgarian civilians operating a private business,” read the statement on the training exercise, designed “simulate seizing and securing the Cheshnegirovo decommissioned airfield in Bulgaria" posted on the US Army Europe and Africa website. “The U.S. Army takes training seriously and prioritizes the safety of our soldiers, our allies, and civilians," the post continued. “We sincerely apologize to the business and its employees. We always learn from these exercises and are fully investigating the cause of this mistake." As we all know, folks, nothing says “teachable moment” quite like scaring the absolute shit out of some workers who have done nothing wrong except for maybe press an olive a little too tightly when attempting to extract its sweet, sweet nectar. 

To the surprise of absolutely no one, it seems Bulgarian president Rumen Radev, much like the olives at the factory, is reasonably pressed by the American military's gun-toting snafu, reportedly demanding an investigation into the incident. 

"It is inadmissible to have the lives of Bulgarian citizens disturbed and put at risk by military formations, whether Bulgarian or belonging to a foreign army," Radev told local CNN affiliate, Nova TV. "The exercises with our allies on the territory of Bulgaria should contribute to building security and trust in collective defense, not breed tension."

So, readers, although “World War III starting over an inadvertent olive oil factory invasion” may not have been on any of our 2021 bingo cards, considering the way this year has been going, would we really be surprised at this point?

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