Good news for fans of graphic decapitations and EDM, this week sees the release of a new Mortal Kombat movie -- and judging from the reviews so far, it’s even better than the 1995 original and presumably way better than the 1996 laser-filled live tour.

Perhaps not coincidentally, Hallmark just announced that their 2021 batch of Christmas ornaments will include Mortal Kombat’s Sub-Zero -- who hopefully won’t rip the spine out of a neighboring Santa Claus ornament when nobody’s looking.

Hallmark

 

Sub-Zero does have the ability to conjure icicles which, apart from the fact that he uses them primarily for stabbing purposes, is kind of Christmas-y. This isn’t the first time the Mortal Kombat brand has collided with the yuletide season, either. The 2012 short fan film Mortal Kombat vs Christmas found Scorpion and the gang attacking Santa and eventually brawling with a giant snowman in a New York subway station while random spectators question their own sanity. It, too, somehow looks like an improvement on that ‘90s stage show.

While this may seem like a bizarre theme for a holiday decoration, Hallmark is known for adapting incredibly random pop-culture subjects for their ornaments. This year we’re also getting ornaments featuring Bette Midler’s character from Hocus Pocus, Eleven from Stranger Things, and Skeletor’s Castle Greyskull. Of course, nothing will top their 2015 ornament depicting Spock’s death from Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

Hallmark

 

Because what says “Happy Birthday Jesus” more than a tiny plastic rendering of a senior citizen slowly dying of radiation poisoning while his best friend is forced to watch?

You (yes, you) should follow JM on Twitter! And check out the podcast Rewatchability.

Top Image: Warner Bros.

Join the Cracked Movie Club

Get your weekly round-up of the latest movie and TV coverage from Cracked and be entered for our digital projector giveaway!

Forgot Password?