The era of original programming is dead. The litany of reboots and sequels and spinoffs that Hollywood is producing has taken any need for new properties and jam-packed them in a barrel to get blasted into the ass of anyone who stands in Cordell Walker's way. (Yeah, even Chuck Norris isn't immune from getting rebooted.) In the words of Thanos, our Patron Saint of Sequels, "it is inevitable."
So, as they say, "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em," and with that mind, if we're going to relaunch every single successful television property known to man, can we get The Janitor on Scrubs an origin story?
It's perfect if you think about it. The Janitor is one of the greatest characters in sitcom history, yet so much of his story is untold. We don't know how he became a janitor or when he started working at Sacred Heart. We don't know his family history -- only the lies he's told us -- like how we thought we met his father in the episode "My Old Man," only for the Janitor to later reveal "you met a man." We don't even know his real name. Yes, series creator Bill Lawrence has gone on the record saying it is "Glenn Matthews," but even that is still in dispute.
A Janitor origin story could clear up all of this, plus it would be great TV. We'd maybe see a young Bob Kelso ascending the rungs of Sacred Heart's organizational hierarchy, or a young Perry Cox become a cocky intern only to be humbled by the harsh realities of medicine and especially wet floors.
Or maybe we wouldn't even see life inside of Sacred Heart, but perhaps even before that, as we examine all of The Janitor's supposed lies. This is a man who has claimed to have gone to Harvard, to have been in the "janitor branch" of the military, to have done "done everything" except sleep with Amy Carter, that tiny hamsters died all over his face at once, and to have grown up believing his grandmother was his mother, his mother was his sister and his father was his brother, and this is only a fraction of it. Imagine if all of his lies were true? It would be one hell of a TV show. At the very least, it would give ABC something better to air than a LOST reboot, and, dear God, do we not want to go back, Jack.
Top Image: ABC