'Cousin Greg' From 'Succession' Wrote A Song About Doinking During This Mess

Just when it seemed the past year couldn't get any weirder, Nicholas Braun, a.k.a. the Emmy-Award winning actor behind Greg from Succession, a.k.a the glow stick kid from the 2005 Disney flick, Sky High, is back with, uh, an extremely graphic song about getting it on during a pandemic? As it seems nothing gets those juices flowing-- both the creative kind and evidently those of another variety  -- quite like the concept of a virus-based global lockdown, Braun apparently felt compelled to put pen to paper, writing, recording, and releasing a weirdly horny coronavirus themed rock song entitled "Antibodies (Do You Have The)"

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"I want a girl whose blood's got the stuff, I want a girl who's safe," Braun croons during the song's opening bars. "I wanna hold you in my arms and not be afraid to breathe, I've been waiting patiently, I obeyed the rules, And now I'm ready to break 'em on you, No more sending nudes." Damn, I guess Kendrick Lamar, has some uh, very stiff new competition for the title of the voice of the millennial generation. "If you come within six feet, it's mask on, mask on, mask on, mask on," he sings. "But if you got antibodies, It's pants off, pants off, pants off, pants off, Do you have the antibodies? Do you wanna be with me? Do you have the antibodies? 'Cause if you don't, you better stay away! (stay away)." Folks, that is some high-quality poetry if I've ever seen it.

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Although only garnering slightly more than 2,200 listens on SoundCloud and nearly 300,000 on Spotify, the song, much like many others over the past year, has found new life in the form of a viral TikTok. "So I came across some unsettling information today, thanks to my Spotify Discover Weekly" user @chicachicacharlie posted in a video for her more than 5,500 followers earlier this week. After taking a moment to point out how Braun's Sky High character was apparently the second hottest superhero in the entire film she then plays the song, holding her head as the lyrics float above. "This guy really made a song about 'hey, let's doink um, but only if you have covid antibodies,' with full confidence," she noted.

@chiachiacharlie
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In the day since its posting, her scathing, albeit very warranted, review has garnered more than 11,500 likes, even receiving a duet by Braun himself, who proceeds to lip-sync along to the, um, decidedly erotic lyrics, nodding along as she proceeds to flame him. It should be noted that Braun's response has nearly 100,000 likes, which is approximately 98,000 more reactions than the song's SoundCloud plays. We're sleeping on a modern classic, people! 

@nicholasbraun
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However, it seems the song is slightly more than a new anthem for your next masked hookup. According to the music video, which features Braun running around in emo quarantine attire, and even standing pantsless on a bridge, the actor first thought of the idea for the tune this spring, crowdsourcing the melody and other musical features from several social media users as a benefit. The proceeds from the song have allegedly been sent to organizations including Partners In Health and the COPE program. A boning banger for a good cause? I'll take it. 

So, if any members of the Recording Academy are reading this, forget Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish, your next "Song of The Year" winner is right here. Cancel the whole ceremony, Nicholas Braun swept the whole thing.

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram at @HuntressThompson_, on Twitch.tv @HuntressThompson_ on Twitter @TennesAnyone