Yesterday, Donald J. Trump made history as the first President in The United States's 244-year existence to be impeached twice during his tenure, or, well, fourure, in the Oval Office. With only two of our country's other 44 presidents having also faced impeachment, Andrew Johnson in 1868 and Bill Clinton in 1998, Donnie managing to pull this off not once, but on two separate occasions is truly astounding, a testament to his erratic and often irresponsible approach to leadership. To paraphrase Phineas and Ferb supervillain, Dr. Doofenschmurtz -- "Wow, if I had a nickel for every time Donald Trump was impeached I'd have two nickels - which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice."
So folks, in honor of this extraordinary occurrence, here are 11 things that have happened the same amount of times as 45 has been impeached.
1. Leonardo DiCaprio, Will Smith, Philip Seymour Hoffman, and Sairose Ronan have won as many Oscars combined as the number of instances in which Trump has faced Congressional reprimands for his actions.
2. There have been two separate musical phenomenons that caused women everywhere to faint during concerts, the same number of times Donnie has likely thrown a tantrum at the prospects of tangibly getting removed from office.
3. Over his time in office, Trump demolished his chances of evading impeachment on two separate occasions, just like the city of Forth Worth, Texas, accidentally demolished two separate homes months over a four-month span.
4. Beauty YouTuber, Tati Westbrook, has used her massive platform of nearly 10 million subscribers, to cancel two different gurus, similar to how Congress proverbially canceled Donald Trump twice during his presidency via impeachment.
5. New Zealand Pop superstar Lorde, has exactly one different album that 45 can sulk to following his respective impeachment votes.
6. Josh Gad has graced the big screen as Olaf in Disney's Frozen franchise as many times as POTUS has committed impeachable offenses, according to lawmakers.
7. Trump has been impeached once for each instance Elizabeth Taylor married Richard Burton, or "Space Karen" Elon Musk tied the knot with Talulah Riley.
8. The number of queens that won RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 4 is equivalent to the number of times the man formerly-known as "John Barron" has gotten past the Congressional stage of the impeachment process.
9. A blimp crash above New Jersey has halted the same amount of technological eras as 45 has (almost) gotten booted from office.
10. Congress has nabbed the former Apprentice host for partaking in impeachable acts as many times as Borat 2 star Rudy Giuliani alleged farted during that Michigan voter fraud hearing last month.
11. There are as many approved Covid-19 vaccines in the United States as there have been impeachments over the past 4 years.
12. And as a bonus point, Call Me By Your Name's Timothee Chalamet has been in a peach one half as many times as Donnie has been impeached ... at least as far as we know. But hey, better a peach fetish than an alleged cannibalism kink, am I right? Also, maybe skip this clip if you don't enjoy watching fruit getting bastardized by a Hollywood heartthrob that may or may not look akin to a "pointy italian shoe that was turned into a real boy by a witch's curse"
So folks, it's been a long week. Here's to hoping these next six days pass by relatively quickly -- remember, Senate trial or no Senate trial, Donnie's leaving office either way.