4 Incredibly Improbable Events That Just Keep Happening

4

People Keep Finding Gold Bars in Airplane Toilets

On average, a human being could habitually check every public toilet within a 200-mile radius of their home and/or office and never find a single piece of gold, unless it was in the form of a bloody gilded molar dislodged from a pimp's jawbone during a fistfight with a plainclothes detective.

But that wasn't the case for an airline cleaning crew who stumbled upon 280 gold bars in the toilet of a Middle Eastern jumbo jet, as if King Midas had haphazardly tried to stick a wad of toilet paper into his burning anus and accidentally spilled diarrhea through his alchemic fingers.

deathandtaxesmag.com
Or a rage-filled magical goose was shitting bricks over flight delays.

3

A Man Won a Multimillion-Dollar Lottery Twice in the Same Store

James Bozeman Jr. won two multimillion-dollar prizes in the Florida state lottery from tickets he bought at the same 7-Eleven, despite the fact that he is selfishly 67 years old. He just recently claimed his second prize, a cool $10 million that he has elected to receive in annual $100,000 payments over the next 30 years, in addition to the lump sum of $3 million he won last August while playing an entirely different set of numbers on an entirely different lottery ticket purchased from the same store. Basically, he's going to ride merrily into his grave on a sleigh made of American currency, because the universe hates us more than it truly loves him.

jeka1984/iStock/Getty Images
The only thing we've ever gotten from these stupid things is paper cuts.

2

The City of Fort Worth Keeps Demolishing the Wrong Houses

Back in July, we told you about a house in Fort Worth, Texas, that the city had torn down by mistake, either because some bureaucrat put the wrong address on the demolition crew's work order or because people become possessed by the judgment of a 5-year-old when they get behind the wheel of a bulldozer. It's the kind of ridiculously stupid error that even a cold-hearted cynic would assume could only happen once, but they would be wrong.

dfw.cbslocal.com
Yep, that's an "s" you're seeing at the end of "home."

Fort Worth, for the second time in four months, has razed the wrong building to its foundation, causing all further demolitions to be halted lest they should accidentally plunge a wrecking ball straight through the ground into the center of the Earth and bathe the city in eternal molten core fire.

1

Rihanna's Twitter Account Stops More Crime Than Batman

During her recent trip to Thailand, Rihanna couldn't resist leaving enough digital bread crumbs on her Twitter and Instagram accounts to lead to two separate arrests, earning her the dubious distinction of "biggest accidental snitch since Fredo Corleone."

Fredo quickly set his account to private.