Lectern Thief's Lawyer On Explaining That Incriminating Photo: 'I'm Not a Magician'

'But your honor, I only posed for a photo with a stolen podium during a deadly attack on the U.S. capitol!'
Lectern Thief's Lawyer On Explaining That Incriminating Photo: 'I'm Not a Magician'

One week after the deadly siege on our nation's Capitol, it seems several of the MAGA-hat-sporting insurgents are still grappling with the consequences of their own stupid actions, dealing with the wrath of the U.S. Justice system, the mockery of the entire internet, and a potential spot the no-fly list. Yet as notable participants, including Richard Barnett, a.k.a "Bigo" who kicked his feet up onto House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's desk, and Jake Angeli, the "buffalo head guy" with a very sensitive tum tum, await their day in court, Adam Johnson, the viral lectern-stealing rioter once known as Via Getty, faces a legal battle of his own. 

On Friday, Johnson, like many of his fellow rioting comrades, was arrested on charges including disorderly conduct on Capitol grounds, theft of government property, and violent entry, Newsweek reported. Although released earlier this week on a $25,000 signature bond, it seems the Floridian furniture burgular may not be free for long. Even Johnson's attorneys, Dan Eckhart and David Bigney, appear to know their client is absolutely screwed, admitting magical intervention may be the only way to explain away the now iconic photo of their client gleefully committing an alleged felony.

"You have a photograph of our client in a building, unauthorized to be there with what appears to be a podium or lectern," Eckhart said of Johnson's incriminating snap. "I don't know how else to explain that. But yeah, that would be a problem. I'm not a magician and neither is Mr. Bigney. So yeah, we've got a photograph of our client, who appears to be inside a federal building, or inside the Capitol, with government property."

Although the image has reportedly already been used as evidence during investigations into the incident, which some are calling an act of domestic terrorism, Johnson's legal team maintains his innocence, alleging that he was not involved in a coup, that instead, "he was there to witness a little bit of history." Sure, witness history and swipe a sweet congressional podium during a violent riot that left five dead. To paraphrase the old internet adage, pics or it didn't happen -- and unfortunately for Johnson, there are several pics of him caught in the act. 

So folks, remember, don't participate in sieges of the U.S. government's Capitol building. Oh, and if you're committing a felony, maybe avoid smiling for the camera while you're in the act. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone

Top Image: Shutterstock

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