Russian 'Sausage King' Murdered With Crossbow In Sauna

On today's episode of murders that sound like they could be Clue prompts, a Russian oligarch known as the 'Sausage King' was murdered in a sauna with a crossbow, according to BBC News. On Monday, two assailants wearing masks attacked Vladimir Marugov, who owned a number of the nation's largest meat processing plants, including Ozyorsky and Meat Empire, and his partner while relaxing in an outdoor sauna cabin at his country home near Moscow. 

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"Several masked men entered the bathhouse ... tied up the owner of the house and his spouse, and then demanded money," Russia's Investigative Committee's said in a statement. Although Marugov's wife was able to slip out through a window just in time, the Sausage King himself wasn't so lucky, as authorities found his body with a crossbow next to it. Since then, one person has been detained in connection with the murder of the man behind the "Meat Empire." Can someone please make a Fox musical drama series about this starring Taraji P. Henson? Please? Asking for a friend. 

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Moral of the story? If you're dubbed the king of anything, you may want to invest in better security -- take it from the Tiger King himself, Joe Exotic. 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ and on Twitter @TennesAnyone. 

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