Sick and tired of making banana bread, sourdough, and terrible cakes as you look for ways to entertain yourself throughout a seemingly endless quarantine? Well, readers, I may have just the fix for you. On today's episode of terrible internet recipes, you should definitely not make, last year, Reddit user u/KingFajitas apparently decided it would be a great idea to make the infamous Allegra chicken (a.k.a chicken tenders allegedly seasoned with Allegra Allergy medication) that went viral on Twitter last year. I guess someone had to try it ...
For those of you who don't often find yourself mindlessly scrolling through the cursed annals of Twitter, first of all, congrats on not being the President of the United States or a fellow journalist. Secondly, let me give you a bit of a refresher. Last year, a Twitter user shared an image of what appeared to be chicken breasts marinating in a purple-liquid, posing an important culinary inquiry. "guys does anyone know where u can bulk buy more @AllegraOTC?" they wrote in the since-deleted, yet still screenshot-archived post. "i need more than what CVS stocks to make the batter for my world f amous allegra chicken [sic]." Upon seeing the tweet two days later, Allegra's PR team seemingly wanted nothing to do with the erm, questionable chicken recipe starring their over-the-counter antihistamine. "Hello. Please only take Allegra as directed. Find directions, uses and warnings on our website, here: http://allegra.com/products. We would like to hear more about how you are using Allegra. Please give our Consumer Affairs Department a call at 1-800-633-1610. Thank you."
Since the original tweet, a few copycats took to Twitter to share similar posts, likely to the annoyance Allegra's social media manager(s) (who probably also need a raise).
While most of these were likely in jest, hungry Redditor U/KingFajitas user decided to test this recipe after seeing the screenshot on another thread, making the um, chicken-y and potentially sinus-clearing snack for themselves. "Allegra Chicken Tenders," they posted on r/awfuleverything, attaching an image of their suspiciously normal-looking creation, complete with a side of ketchup.
Almost immediately, it became clear the image in the original tweet wasn't real since Allegra generally comes in a pill form, and the children's version that is a liquid does is "creamy white."
"Unfortunately, Allegra apparently isn't blue or purple. So the only thing you can really see is the chucks of Allegra in the batter," they wrote. Bummer.
Yet not all hope was lost. "I found a chicken tender recipe online. I ended up replacing all the spices with equal parts Allegra pills and the buttermilk with Allegra liquid," they added before sharing their methodology.
"1. First, I ground up the Allegra. Unfortunately, it's white inside, and I quickly realized you wouldn't be able to tell it was world-famous Allegra chicken tenders.
2. So I went and bought the children's Allegra, which is a liquid. Well it's a creamy white too. I added it to the egg wash. It says it has a berry flavor.
11. Bone apple tea!"
While this recipe may sound, uh, delicious, it turns out it was barely edible. "At first, the flavor was fine," they wrote. "It actually tasted like normal chicken tenders. Then, the after taste kicks in. EXTREMELY bitter. It kept getting worse and worse, and I started to gag. 2/10, do not recommend. The berry flavor (fortunately) did not carry over. Just the bitterness. Also, it was pretty expensive. I should've gone with the generic brand." Welp, folks, there you have it. Allegra chicken isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yet if you're still considering trying this for yourself, u/KingFajitas has a warning for you.
"Don't do this," they added in a disclaimer at the end of their post. "It's messing with a drug that could have serious health effects and possibly lead to death. The joke is going to be played out so you have nothing to gain. I have no affiliation with Allegra. ALLEGRA CHICKEN IS NOT A REAL THING. DON'T DO IT. This was merely done for science and I'm not responsible if you're an idiot and do something stupid like this." Ditto.
Allergy medication, it's finger-lickin' good ... or not. But in all seriousness, please don't do this -- I'd like to avoid getting sued if possible.