Well, reader, we've done it. Just when it seemed 2020 couldn't possibly devolve into a further dystopian nightmare, our world somehow managed to hit a new low. It is with deep regret that I must inform you that someone decided it would be an absolutely grand idea to place a raw egg inside of a Keurig machine, for no apparent reason, other than making an admittedly impressive "keuregg" pun, and of course, TikTok clout.
Earlier this week, TikTok user captainmcslugs posted the egg-cellently scrambled video, captioned "Poached eggs on the go," in which they enact one of our worst intrusive thoughts, placing a raw egg whole inside of a k-cup machine. After slamming the lid on top of the egg, we see a horrifying mess of stringy, amorphous globs of yolk and white oozing from the machine into an unsuspecting coffee mug, steam desperately escaping from the monstrosity. At last, captainmcslugs opens the machine, revealing a cracked, partially cooked egg, an image that will continue to haunt my nightmares for years to come.
Since appearing on the app, the video has gone viral, acquiring more than 140 thousand likes and 2,500 comments, and may well garner even more after being poached to appear on our site. While many users commented praise for captainmcslugs, erm, creative approach, the video didn't exactly go over easy with everyone. "Ive [sic] never been so violently afraid in my life," wrote one user. "Why would you do this why would you do this why why why [sic]," added another.
All bad yokes aside, as a self-appointed connoisseur of dad jokes and cringe-y internet content, I deeply admire captainmcslugs' dedication to the bit. After all, who doesn't love cursed, er, deviled TikTok Videos? Omelet live and let live. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to see if I can borrow my friend's Keurig machine for, erm, purely scientific purposes.