Whew, Someone Said 'No' To This Bad Bond Idea

There's no time to do but plenty of your time to waste with hack storytelling.
Whew, Someone Said 'No' To This Bad Bond Idea

Creativity is a messy process. Anyone who's ever tried to write a book or a script or even make pottery knows you have to write some bad dialogue (or make structurally unsound pitcher handles?) before you eventually stumble upon the good stuff. Like all creative types, Cary Fukunaga, the director of the upcoming James Bond flick No Time To Die, had to trudge through some rivers of shit before discovering whatever hopefully good stuff he put into the movie. One of those ideas involved pulling a St. Elsewhere and setting a majority of the story in Bond's head.

In Spectre, there was a torture scene where Bond's arch-nemesis (and brother? Ski-instructor's kid? Or something?) Ernesto Blofeld tortures Bond by drilling into his head to wipe his memory (Hopefully starting with Quantum of Solace.).

Fukunaga says that scene gave him an idea that he ultimately -- and wisely -- didn't use. In his unused, undeveloped version that never left the idle pondering stage, everything up to the second act of No Time To Die would be happening in Bond's head. Now, would that also include the end of Spectre? Would Bond snap out of it and realize he just wasted about two hours' worth of screen time with a dream sequence that spanned two movies? Would he then apologize directly to the camera and issue refunds in the form of theater gift cards? Would the price of popcorn be refunded too or just the ticket? What about parking validation? These questions and more are destined to become apart of the ever-growing pantheon of Hollywood What Ifs.

No Time To Die will wrap up Daniel Craig's time as Bond and will try to put a neat bow on his tenure's attempt at serialized storytelling (Something that the previous two movies already did.). Considering how bad the series has always been at maintaining narrative continuity despite how good the movies can be individually, No Time To Die can toss out a narrative clusterfuck as long as it's fun and duck for cover behind the excuse that they were just honoring tradition.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Catch him on the "In Broad Daylight" podcast with Cracked alums Adam Tod Brown and Ian Fortey! Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com and his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast. And now you can listen to the first episode on Youtube!

Top image: Eon Productions/Sony Pictures


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