This piece was written by the Cracked Shop to tell you about products that are being sold there.
Whether your plans include a spiritual journey in an ashram or some socially approved public indecency on Bourbon Street, the reality of travel never quite matches up to your vision. Between crowded airports, rude security agents, nickel-and-diming airlines, and uncomfortable seats, there are many people and inanimate objects that seem determined to ruin your vacation before it even starts. We don't have a magic wand we can wave to make them all disappear, but we do have a few products that might help a little.
Sale Price: $179.99
Genius Pack got its name for a reason. It's like that purse Hermione used to carry around the entire Hogwarts library, except there's no magic involved, just innovative design. This smart backpack is fully optimized for travel, with a tri-fold garment suiter for hanging clothes without wrinkling, a laundry compartment, and even an integrated charger to keep your devices powered up on the go. Kiss your old, dumb backpack goodbye.
If you want to fit even more stuff into your backpack, most luggage companies would balk at such an unreasonable request. But Genius Pack is just like, "OK, have some squeezy squares." These clever cubes let you organize your items and compress them to fit more in your luggage, while keeping them all nicely stored and accessible. You'll be tempted to bring your entire home along on vacation, but please resist. Your fish tank does not compress.
If you do need to pack your entire home, we're not here to judge. We will simply point out that when you need to bring multiple bags, this connectable set makes it easy to get from point A to point B, and also that we know some good lawyers if you need them for, you know, anything. The three bags connect for easy transport, or can be used individually if you need to ditch one unexpectedly. Again, we're not asking questions.
Sale Price: $295
Checking luggage is somewhere between stubbing your toe and setting your hair on fire on the list of things that suck. It's necessary sometimes, but there's no reason to drag your Cadillac of a suitcase along on a weekend trip, or heaven forbid, buy two different ones. This convertible suitcase easily expands from a carry-on-sized to extra-large, keeping you ready for any kind of trip. You can make Transformer noises while you adjust it. We won't tell anyone.
Your laptop has feelings too. OK no, it (probably) doesn't. But wouldn't it be nice to cradle it securely in this durable nylon backpack, capable of storing up to a 15" machine? It's even got faux fur lining, so your laptop can feel like Kanye, traveling in style.
Made with impact-absorbing TENSAERLITE, this modern briefcase gives an extra little protection to your laptop and other delicate work items while still looking fashionable. Did we mention the TENSAERLITE? It's a word that's practically got a deep booming echo built into it. If you can't trust sound effects, what can you trust?
Prefer to travel light? This simple tote is easy to carry for long periods of time, and has all the space you need for your essentials. Never again lose the bobby pins, five tubes of Chapstick, and several loose pens that you insist on carrying everywhere to the bottom of a backpack.
Losing your bag is the worst thing that can happen during travel, outside of a tragic accident or lack of coffee shops. Don't take a chance. These smart luggage tags have GPS locating via a smartphone app, so you'll always be able to see where your precious is when it's not with you.
Between the enormous engines and chatty seatmates, airplanes are a unique challenge in aural endurance. Block it out with these awesome noise-cancelling headphones. They'll help you create your very own personal soundscape, which is guaranteed to be a lot more pleasant than whatever your new friend in the middle seat has to say.
Sale Price: $59.99
Wireless earbuds are incredibly handy when you're trying to get through the airport. One ill-timed yank on a corded pair, and suddenly you have to listen to people. These won't cost an arm and a leg, but they still have many of the same idiot-ignoring features as the top ones on the market.
Don't sacrifice your music enjoyment just because you're currently underwater. These wireless earphones are completely waterproof, so you can listen while you're lounging on a novelty-shaped pool floaty or swimming laps. Let's be honest, it's the first one.
There's enough culture shock across various ponds -- different languages, different customs, different fried food availability. You don't need to deal with shock-shock as well. This travel adapter works on USA, EU, UK, and AUS outlets, and lets you charge up to three devices at once so you never get disconnected while you're overseas.
Rather than letting all of your charging cables and such become a tangled mess in your backpack, organize it all with this travel bag. It's got dedicated space for all your chargers, cables, battery packs, and more. Sure, you could end up with a neat sculpture, but why take the chance?
Technology is so amazing that even our sleep masks are smart now. Yes, the Dreamlight Pro is equipped with 100%, adaptable light-blocking, plays sleep-aiding audio when you put it on, and even delivers genetic insights to help you get to sleep faster while traveling. It's our doctor now.
This smart mask has 3D facial mapping, working to create a perfect seal on your face so no light gets in. It's every Alien fan's secret fantasy. It also has sleep-aid audio to help you drift off faster. If you're not sure which one to get, just get both and make them fight.
This versatile, convertible pillow adapts to whichever space you're in or whatever way you prefer to sleep while traveling to help you get comfortable, no matter how awkward your arrangement is. Make it a game: Can you fall asleep on a crowded bus? In a cramped economy cabin? At the Louvre? You sure can, superstar.
If you're more of a Princess and the Pea kind of travel sleeper, never fear. This completely customizable travel pillow is packed with comfy cushions that adapt to you. Even if you're in the middle seat, you'll be able to find a comfy sleeping position.
This travel pillow goes above and beyond, giving you an extra layer of memory foam-stuffed support to keep both your head and neck comfortable. Even those first-class jerks will be jealous.
Traveling is all about letting loose, but unfortunately, you do have to keep up your hygiene. This clever pack includes a toothbrush, pillow, and sleep mask all in one handy package, so you don't become completely gross.
After three layovers, two Uber rides, and a partridge in a pear tree, it's a miracle if you arrive at your destination clothed at all, let alone unwrinkled. Unfortunately, neither alternative is acceptable. This electricity-free portable steamer will take care of those wrinkles in no time to ensure that you don't show up at a meeting looking any less than your best. What you do after that is your business.
Prices are subject to change.