6 Painfully Stupid Celebrity Journalism Fails

4A Magazine Claimed To Have Intimate Knowledge Of Tom Cruise's Sperm Count

For reasons that are absolutely none of our business, Tom Cruise and his wife at the time, Nicole Kidman, adopted two children in 1996. German magazine Bunte insisted on badgering him about it anyway, and during the publicity tour for the first Mission: Impossible movie, he allegedly alluded to having a "situation." Of course, anything can be a situation. Maybe Kidman feared pregnancy's effect on her career, or the couple felt strongly about overpopulation, or he didn't want to pass on that weird middle tooth of his. But the magazine went ahead and assumed that meant he was sterile.

Of course, we know now that couldn't possibly be true, since years later, Cruise had a daughter with Katie Holmes, and she could be young Tom in a wig. Back then, however, people were so willing to leap on the "Top Gun Shoots Blanks" story that part of Bunte's defense was that other German magazines were reporting the same thing. They took what they admitted was a vague quote and combined it with the rumor mill to get not just fertility problems, but "zero sperm count." No chance of producing children. Not a single soldier in the baby bag.

It's worth noting that in the ensuing lawsuit, Cruise claimed his career could be damaged by such allegations because it's "dependent upon the public's ... belief in his performances and in its willingness to believe that he does or could possess the qualities of the characters he plays." Apparently he thinks we're all looking at his movie posters and thinking "Oh yeah, that guy's got tons of sperm."

3A Fake Drew Barrymore In-Flight Magazine Interview Was Just Absurd

In October 2018, a political analyst named Adam Baron was flipping through EgyptAir's in-flight magazine when he came across a completely insane interview with Drew Barrymore. The writer, Dr. Aida Takla-O'Reilly -- the former president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association -- asks questions in the form of insults, bringing up Barrymore's "several unsuccessful marriages" and alleged accusations from fans of "being overweight and neglecting [her] health" after her last pregnancy. Since Barrymore's answers were somehow not a series of slaps, but rather placid agreements that fatties are losers and Western women are a menace to society, something was clearly up.

Thanks to the misspelled byline, Dr. Takla-O'Reilly could have easily washed her hands of the situation and claimed to be a victim as well, but she has some integrity. After Barrymore's spokesperson confirmed the interview was obviously fabricated, Takla-O'Reilly took to Twitter to rage at anyone who doubted her decades-long dedication to the movie star whose name she doesn't know how to spell.

2The Daily Star Published A Fake Story About The Rock Attacking "Snowflakes"

While many have speculated in recent years about Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson potentially running for president -- and we would absolutely vote for him, because we're what's wrong with America -- Hollywood's beefiest actor has always kept pretty quiet about his political leanings. That makes it all the more absurd that The Daily Star decided to publish this front-page headline in January 2019:

1The Keanu Reeves "Lonely Guy" Quote Came From A Recycled Fake Interview

The internet's love affair with Keanu Reeves began with revelations about his tragic past, because there's nothing worse than a person who's consistently fortunate. We demand that our heroes earn their comfortable lives by sacrificing themselves on the altar of relatability. So obviously an interview with Reeves lamenting his lack of romantic success went viral in May 2019.