Hero Drops Acid At Disneyland Paris, Has Confusing Adventure
130 people looked for him. Search dogs were deployed. Helicopters equipped with thermal cameras did their damnedest. None of it was of any use. This enormous manhunt couldn't find a single Swiss man who'd dropped acid at Disneyland Paris and "almost immediately" fell into a lake in Adventureland. Our protagonist made a bet with his friends that somehow resulted in him taking LSD in the Most Ennui Place on Earth. No reporting of the story explains how he went from that to falling into water (but it happened near Captain Hook's pirate ship, so I'm going to assume he got super high and walked the plank).
He didn't come up for a little bit. And then he continued to not come up. The not-coming-up persisted. By this point, he was either going to resurface as a corpse or with a Guinness World Record plaque. Neither happened, so his girlfriend reported his disappearance to Disney police. The cops must have presumed drugs were involved when the girlfriend "did not seem to be in possession of all her means," which is a very polite French way of saying this lady was also tripping balls.
The man was found several hours later by a guy who was driving home from work, and it should be noted that he did not work at Disneyland. The man had no memory of how he made it outside of the park, walking naked and covered in scratches through the town of Chessy, about a mile away. Looking at things logically, it makes sense that a high man would want to flee as quickly as possible after watching someone sink their teeth into the frosty head of Mickey Mouse on a stick.
That naked nameless Swiss man has thrown down the gauntlet and raised the bar for inebriated Disneyland antics. Drinking "around the world" at Epcot is played out. Now it's all about using the powers of LSD to activate your latent teleportation abilities.
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