Here's The Secret Way Famous People Troll Paparazzi
When it comes to clothing, most of us normies submit to the convenience of the Street Fighter strategy. That is, constantly rotating through a handful of outfits -- and if we're being honest, they're all the same outfit, just in slightly different color patterns. But surely that same lackadaisical sartorial attitude ought not to apply to our betters, the celebrities. They'd slip out of favor if they were to slip into the same outfit twice. Yet it seems that a certain princess has committed that very sin. And not twice, not thrice, but egads, foice!
This weekend, Her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cambridge (or "Kate" to friends and communists) attended the launch of the Royal Research Ship Sir David Attenborough (previously of Boaty McBoatface fame, but renamed after the British proved they can't be trusted with a referendum). At the event, the duchess was spotted wearing a very familiar item of clothing: her iconic Alexander McQueen blue overcoat. Scandalously familiar, according to several tabloids, which wrote articles to neg the future queen like a bunch of mean girl dilettantes. For the plebeian temerity of wearing the same coat on four separate occasions, The Sun (don't click that) called her "thrifty," while Page Six snootily remarked that she wore the coat "as far back as 2014," and that it's so brave that she "isn't afraid to rewear" this item of clothing that probably costs more than the hovels us paupers live in.
In case you're wondering why, in a world where Jaden Smith exists, anyone would bother to clothes-shame a beloved royal just for not forcing workhouse urchins to sew her a new coat every 20 hours, the truth is that tabloids have a vested interest in shaming them into wearing new outfits. Fresh paparazzi shots are worth a lot less if the celebrity's wearing the same thing they did a while back, because it makes the pics look old. That's why clever celebs like Daniel Radcliffe, Brad Pitt, and Katy Perry have gone through extended periods of time wearing the exact same outfit every time they went out, as if they were in some sort of Groundhog Day fashion show.
So there's the secret to not getting fashion-policed: Middleton should just wear that same coat every day for the rest of her life. In fact, she should do the full Hanna-Barbera and have a lackey hold up the same bland background behind her everywhere she goes.
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