5 Bonkers Scenes From Famous Teen Shows You Forgot Existed

Yeah, since no one seemed too bothered about immediately picking up the lifesaving organ, that dog straight up eats the heart. This is the kind of thing you expect to see in a John Waters movie, not a teen melodrama. The reason for all this? The dog's owner is a stoner who accidentally let the pooch eat three ounces of "Lebanese hash." And because weed apparently makes you forget what a veterinarian is, he ended up at a hospital. So basically, the dog got the munchies. Weirder still is how Lucas reacts after witnessing this apex of cosmic insanity. He just kind of shoots his dad a "Sucks to be you" look.

Warner Brothers Television

Warner Brothers TelevisionWe want to make a snarky joke about this tragic situation, but we simply don't have the heart.

By the way, this isn't, like, a big finale moment. This entire sequence occurs before the opening credits have even stopped rolling! According to The Ringer's oral history of just this scene, when Murray read the script, he asked: "Are we really doing this? Are you just f*cking with us?" And even on set, he still lamented: "I can't f*cking believe this is happening." And at the risk of spoiling the magic, they actually used a pig's heart, because according to one producer: "We weren't going to kill an ape." And speaking of dogs randomly eating things ...

It's not long before the reverend gathers the family in the living room, like Poirot rounding up suspects in a study. He threatens to "drug test" all of his children before Matt eventually owns up. Reverend Camden then creates an open dialogue to discuss drugs, peer pressure, and- just kidding, he screams at Matt as if he murdered a puppy on Christmas Day.

Paramount Domestic Television

Matt then storms out of the house, and his dad pounds on the door like he's in a Tennessee Williams play.

Paramount Domestic Television"Open this door! Don't think I don't know how to get into a teenager's bedroom!"

This scene makes Reefer Madness look like a Seth Rogen movie. Anyway, Matt ends up praying to God for forgiveness so he won't get "baked" in the fiery depths of Hell for all eternity.

The gunman, Rick, was bullied at school, but mostly because he shoved his ex-girlfriend into a rock and put her in a coma. So when he wins a school game show, a couple of students slime him. Rick mistakenly thinks that Jimmy was the one behind the silming, leading to the shooting.

Sony Pictures Television

Now, you might be thinking, "Wait, hang on. Isn't this supposed to be the origin story for a school shooter? Did a few paragraphs get deleted?" Nope! That's what sets the kid off. That's not a harrowing look at bullying or homicidal radicalization; that's how Nickelodeon built its empire. Carrie White got doused in pig's blood, and she didn't even put anyone in a coma. At least Rick would later get his comeuppance in Drake's music video for "I'm Upset," which reunited the Degrassi cast. The last we see of Rick, he's being chased by Drake's real-life buddies.

Except Rick dies at the end of the episode. So who's that supposed to be in the video? The actor? A ghost? Presumably it's up to the Canadian prime minister, or possibly the queen of Britain, to decide what's canon in the Degrassi-verse.

Evan doesn't want money, or even bearer bonds; he merely wants Donna to go on camera and tell Ameri- sorry, the population of California University, how much she loves him. Which would be much more convincing if he wasn't also on camera pointing a gun at her.

CBS Television Distribution"Let's use this photo for the Christmas card this year."

While this setup could have teed up an exciting action sequence, instead the writers opt to have Donna save the day by ... agreeing to make out with Evan. It's quite gross and uncomfortable, but Evan does put down his gun, allowing her to grab it. So maybe one day we'll get a more open-minded Die Hard remake where John McClane and Hans Gruber settle their differences with smooching.

CBS Television Distribution

CBS Television DistributionBeing a serious drama, we're sure the rest of the season is about Donna processing this trauma, and it's not something that gets forgotten by the next episode. Right?

Oddly, the episode also features a comedic B-plot wherein two characters worry that their parents are dating. Which seems kind of inconsequential and tone-deaf, considering that their friends are being held at gunpoint by a hormone-addled psycho.

Naturally, it turns out the villagers are part of a cult -- though after reading about what a certain cast member was up to, it's hard not to find these guys slightly adorable, since they aren't mutilating anyone's genitals or anything.

Warner Brothers TelevisionThough it sure looks like they tied Jack Skellington to a roulette table at some point.

Unfortunately, there's blue kryptonite in the village, rendering the superpowered Clark vulnerable. And by "vulnerable," we mean he takes a scythe to the belly, leaving his guts practically hanging out.

Warner Brothers Television

They then bury Clark alive, but he survives and heads back to town armed with a goddamn shotgun! Maybe we all owe Zack Snyder an apology.

Warner Brothers Television"My mother's name is 'Remington' too!"

As Lois is about to be sacrificed to blue Kryptonite fire (for crop-related reasons, duh), Clark steps in and protects her. Of course, since he's Superman (eventually), the fire doesn't cause him too much trou- nope, all the skin gets burned off his back.

Warner Brothers TelevisionIt takes a real effort for TV effects to look especially fake.

He heals up quickly, and Lois tells the villagers that they've angered a god. And sure, they're an evil cult, but this still somehow feels vaguely unethical. And it seems almost being Wicker Man-d is the ultimate aphrodisiac, because at the end of the episode, Clark and Lois have sex for the first time.

Warner Brothers TelevisionYou sure you don't want to try a little hand stuff first to make sure it doesn't fire lasers or something?

For some reason, the hundreds of candles in the bedroom don't remind them of the fact that they were just almost burned to death.

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