Like Dying? Then This Floating Tent Is For You.

Like Dying? Then This Floating Tent Is For You.

Do you hate mosquitoes so much that you'd rather drown yourself than get bit one more time? Have you always dreamed of offering yourself as a meal kit delivery service to carnivorous wilderness creatures? Are you cool with your bloated corpse being called a "f***ing idiot" by investigators as they untangle it from its waterlogged nylon casket? If you answered yes to any or all of these questions, the Shoal Tent is for you.

The 6-inch-thick base of this inflatable floating tent that you can sleep in means you'll be kindly nudged awake by every ridge and scale along the back of the gator about to eat you. Its ceiling is a roomy 8 feet high, which will give you plenty of space to fight the transient river hobos who will sneak onto your domicile to rob you of your fillings and beans. Sadly, since it's inflatable, there are no metal poles to pull out from its support structure to use as a weapon in the event of a floating tent invasion -- be it by beast, man, or beast-man (the river has it's secrets).

Now that we've had fun with the idea of a product that will ensure your death certificate will list the cause as "stupidity (tent boat)," we have to point out that this stupid new thing isn't actually new. For the second time in as many weeks, the internet was whipped up into a joke frenzy by a weird thing that had already been widely mocked when it was first announced years ago. The tent boat video from Mashable (posted above) that's been making the rounds on social media was originally posted on November 7, 2017. Meanwhile, the "fish tube" meme from last week? That got so big that John Oliver did a segment on it on Last Week Tonight on November 9, 2014, after it was first brought to the internet's attention in August 2014.

The internet's collective memory is so poor that everything old will be new again -- not because we're nostalgic for it, but because we won't remember that we already talked about it. Tent boat/coffin is such a gloriously moronic idea that it deserves to be mocked annually -- not because we forget it, but because we never should.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's And listen for his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast.

For more, check out Disney's New 'Lady And The Tramp' Stars An Actual Tramp and Your Urine's A Weapon In The Upcoming Game 'Death Stranding'.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Follow us on Facebook. You'll love it.

Scroll down for the next article


Forgot Password?