'Endgame' Is Finally The Biggest Movie Ever, Happy Now?

We've seen small town beauty queen pageants less desperate.
'Endgame' Is Finally The Biggest Movie Ever, Happy Now?

During last weekend's epic San Diego Comic-Con, Marvel unveiled the plan for the long-awaited Phase 4 of its world domination scheme, announcing an exhaustive list of new movies and TV series. And during the event, they also had the timely privilege to announce that Avengers: Endgame had finally become the highest-grossing movie of all time. It wrested this meaningful title from that titan of cultural relevance, the quintessential motion picture of the 21st century ... um, what's it's called, again? You know, the one about the blue people. It had Ripley in it. Avatar! It's Avatar.

20th Century Fox
Something something private military companies something something sex-braids.

It took them close to a decade, but the MCU has finally transcended the first unofficial CGI Disney remake. Yes, the numbers have been tallied (then desperately re-tallied and slightly finessed to fit the agenda), and Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige was eager to boast that Endgame has beaten Avatar, that movie every single person saw in 2009 but can't really remember, with over $2.790 billion in ticket sales. Well, not actual sales, because it's still way behind on the number of tickets sold. But it has now made more money than Avatar ... if you ignore inflation. Look, Feige was on that stage and needed a 15th applause break, alright? Are you really going to go to bat for a movie that was basically Smurfs In Space?

And it has to be said, Marvel and its fanbase sure worked hard to make this happen, to the point that you might even say they rigged Endgame in its own sprinting harness to reach that finish line. For months now, they've been launching desperate campaigns to get people to spend more money on Endgame, like releasing a barely different "new" cut of the movie to rack up rewatches. Meanwhile, hardcore Marvelheads were constantly encouraging other true fans on social media to buy more tickets, even if they didn't want to see it for the 111th time, just to support struggling indie filmmakers *checks notes* Disney.

But here we are now, the world of the box office forever changed. For, like, ten months, maybe. Don't forget, Avatar 2 is coming out in 2021, so the epic rivalry is bound to continue and- oh, Avatar is now also the property of Disney? Cool. Not that it would have ever been able to pose a threat the numerically proven best movie ever made, Avengers: The One With Thanos, But Ant-Man Is In It Too.

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For more, check out We're Pretty Sure The New 'Cats' Movie Is A War Crime and The Star Wars Show Is Already One Of The Most Expensive Ever.

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