And then there's Professor Farnsworth, who looks like the embalmed corpse of steampunk Christopher Plummer. Which isn't good news for anyone.

Cinema Relics/YouTubeThere is no way this could possibly be spun into good news.

And if you thought that was the most upsetting mask, meet live-action Dr. Zoidberg. The beloved animated crustacean becomes a Cronenbergian nightmare creature whose eyes betray an unspoken lust for the sweet release of death.

Cinema Relics/YouTube"Need a horrifying vision to haunt your dreams? Why not Zoidberg?"

Still, you can't fault the filmmakers behind the project, as they faithfully imitated a cartoon that was never intended to be dragged into the harsh spotlight of reality.

Related: 6 Pieces Of Fan Art That Prove We're Doomed

... shirtless dudes painted green parading through parking lots with a dead-eyed nightmare version of Donkey ...

3GI/YouTube

... awkward puppet shows ...

3GI/YouTube

... and, well, whatever the hell this is:

3GI/YouTubeMuch like ogres and onions, this is a nightmare with some layers.

All of which may seem jarring and unpleasant, but it's surprisingly slightly more watchable than the original (due to the noticeable absence of Smash Mouth).

Related: 5 Fan Edits That Blur The Line Between Insane And Genius

We then meet Mario and Luigi, who are unclogging filthy toilets when they aren't kicking ass.

Beatdownboogie/YouTubeYou'd need to be desperate for a working toilet to let these obvious fringe militants into your home.

They eventually meet Princess Peach at some kind of underground fight club -- which may have happened in Super Mario 2, it's hard to remember.

Beatdownboogie/YouTubeThe bottles are an unsportsmanlike move, but we're more worried about Ash in the background coming out with an electric squirrel.

This paves the way for an epic final battle in which they have to strangle Wario to death.

Beatdownboogie/YouTube"It's a-me, your worst nightmare!"

And Luigi goes apeshit with a giant Gatling gun.

Beatdownboogie/YouTubeWe guess the stress of mansion maintenance finally got to him.

Yes, it's insane, needlessly bloody, and features mustaches so fake you can almost hear Sam Elliott weeping. But what would you rather watch: Mario Warfare, or a movie where Mario fights fascist dinosaurs led by King Koopa and his raging coke habit?

Related: 6 Pieces Of Fan Art That Are Better Than The Original

At least they finally delivered on the "show about nothing" premise.

Then as the show progressed, things got ... grim. If you thought the Seinfeld finale was a bummer, at least it didn't end with Jerry flatlining in a hospital bed, followed by a despondent George guzzling rat poison and locking hands with his dying friend.

Seinfeldcomedy.com

Keep in mind, this was just the penultimate episode. The final entry in The Jerry Seinfeld Program was literally nothing but a silent, prolonged shot of George and Jerry's corpses.

Seinfeldcomedy.com

Seinfeldcomedy.comThis is almost worse than the ending to the actual show!

Of course, if we were going to off Jerry Seinfeld, choking on a bag of airline peanuts has a certain O. Henry-like irony. But then again, who are we to judge?

Related: 5 Bizarre Subgenres Of Fan Art Lurking On The Internet

We're not exactly sure what's happening here. Presumably, Mike and Sully discovered that Monstropolis is best powered not by the screams or laughter of children, but by the discomfort and confusion of the internet.

Joe/YouTube

Joe/YouTubeThose movies are scary enough without including a unfeeling Lovecraftian god.

In another video, Mike and Sully make a bunch of money selling T-shirts. Soon it's raining dollar bills, one of which cuts their friend Roz's wrist.

Joe/YouTube

Which causes them to almost drown in her blood.

Joe/YouTubeYour move, Disney legal team.

Related: 12 Obsessive Fan Projects That Are Clinically Berserk

Other Turtle-related fan projects seem a bit trickier. Like, apparently it's tough to stage fight scenes dressed in a homemade Raphael costume.

GoingNowhereShow/YouTubeAll the fast-paced action of bingo night at the senior center.

The parodies may even be creepier. For instance, there's the comedy short The Turtles, which reimagines April O'Neil as a stripper and one of the Turtles as a leering patron. And here you were thinking Michael Bay was going to ruin your childhood.

PixiesProductionInc/YouTube

Then there's the webseries, April And Splinter, which finds the titular ace reporter and filthy mutant rat hanging out in the Turtles' absence. In one episode they decide to throw a dinner party, and April gets grossed out that Splinter's tossing the salad with his rat hands.

Splinter And April/YouTubePlus, if you're going to get any character to make a salad, it should be Shredder, right?

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