Margot Robbie's Playing Barbie (Yes, There's A Barbie Movie)

Once in a blue moon, a film achieves the perfect casting. Like when Daniel Day-Lewis played Abraham Lincoln in Lincoln, or when Kevin Spacey played a shady creep in literally all of his movies. Pulling this off in a live-action toy movie, like the upcoming Barbie, has to be even harder, because you need to find someone who looks like a wildly unreasonable standard for beauty while still being able to act less wooden than an actual doll. Luckily, there is one Hollywood star who fits that bill and then some: Margot Robbie.

Paramount PicturesHopefully viewers will be spared seeing Barbie's long-forgotten terror womb.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

In recent "no duh" news, Robbie has signed on to star in the upcoming live-action Barbie movie, based on the iconic fashion character from the 1997 debut hit by Aqua. Surprisingly, Robbie wasn't Mattel and Warner Bros. first choice, having first cast Anne Hathaway and Amy Schumer in the role of the current feminist YouTube vlogger. But nabbing Robbie, who does look like she came into existence after a computer simulation by two horny teenagers got into a freak electrical accident, feels like the ideal no-brainer -- which is, incidentally, the exact quote that got Matthew Lillard cast as Shaggy in Scooby-Doo.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

So having found the perfect Barbie for Barbie, the question now is "What the hell will a Barbie movie even be about?" But if whispers concerning the possible plot are anything to go by, Barbie won't be some airheaded two-hour toy commercial like Transformers. Expect it to be the type of self-referential silly comedy that tackles issues of expectation and standards, sort of like Legally Blonde meets The Lego Movie.

But with Robbie starring and Wonder Woman director Patty Jenkins possibly at the helm, this movie could turn out to be a subversive masterpiece like Josie And The Pussycats (fight me on this). And at the very least, it'll be worth it just to eventually witness the culture shock of a bunch of future grown-up kids finding out Barbie is anatomically correct halfway through The Wolf Of Wall Street.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.

If you loved this article and want more content like this, consider a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out It's Time To Discuss That Gross 'Harry Potter' Revelation and The Real Golden Globe Winner: Melissa McCarthy's Sandwiches.

The first-ever Cracked Podcast LIVE TOUR is coming to a city near (some of) you this spring! Tickets on sale now for Chicago IL (April 11th) and St. Paul MN (April 12th).

Follow us on Facebook. It will be the best click you ever clicked.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

16 Comments

Load Comments

More Articles

5 Famous Old Movies That Now Look Painfully Stupid In 2019

The flow of time is cruel to us all.

184

6 Insanely Complex Pop Culture Mysteries Solved By Fans

Some particularly obsessed fans sacrifice huge amounts of time and effort to come up with answers so we can all sleep a little better at night.

66

5 Cute Easter Eggs That Turned Into Huge Disasters

Rarely does an Easter egg shatter your hold on reality ... but these just might.

78

6 Utterly Insane Movie Moments Everybody Forgets Exist

Lots of people forgot these movie moments ... but, like, how?

156

6 Classic Films That Almost Turned Out Terrible

Let us gaze into the parallel realities where these famous movies are really just infamously terrible.

155

6 Directors Who Use The Same Weird Scene In Every Movie

You'll never unsee these unusual tics.

70