A WWII Pilot Took Out Tanks With Six Bazookas Strapped To His Plane
Charles Carpenter began World War II as a simple observation pilot. With no radio equipment onboard, his job was to recon German artillery positions and then fly all the way back to report them. Easier said than done. But after several simple solo missions, Carpenter had an idea. Instead of making the boring commute back every time, why not cut out the middleman and take out those damn Nazis by himself? But how was he going to do that with only a light scout plane, six bazookas, some rope, and the biggest swingin' johnson in the Air Force?
You guessed it: Carpenter strapped three handheld bazookas under each wing of his plane, then rigged up a system that would allow him to fire from his cockpit by pulling cords attached to them. Now, "Mad Major" Charlie wasn't allowed to return fire during his artillery observation, so he did it on his own dime, flying his jury-rigged plane around Germany and blowing up tanks like the three-way bastard child of MacGyver, Rambo, and the Red Baron.
Via Wikimedia CommonsNo need for a pinup when you have those kinds of bombshells on your wings.
That's not to say the Mad Major only saw air action. One day, while fixing his plane, German infantry attacked, so Carpenter commandeered a Sherman tank and started unloading its machine gun. A bit overzealous, he chased the infantry down and accidentally shot an Allied tank in the pursuit. He was going to be court-martialed and maybe even executed for it, but the decision was overturned by General Patton himself. And if Patton likes the cut of someone's jib, you know they're a crazy son of a bitch.
By the end of the war, Carpenter and his Mad Max plane were credited with destroying six German tanks, which was enough to qualify him as a tank "ace." For his acts of bravery, he was made a lieutenant colonel and received just about every medal they could throw at him.
Royal Sex Was A Spectator Sport
In ye olden days, having lots of babies was the most important thing a queen was expected to do, and it wasn't something royal families left up to chance. So when kings and queens had sex, they rarely did so alone. Several attendants would be present at a wedding night to ensure that everything was going according to plan. A nine-month plan, to be specific, as they'd be present for the birth as well. When Marie Antoinette was finally with child, she had essentially no privacy for nine months. And during labor, so many spectators crammed into her room that she passed out from the heat.
Those who couldn't be present to see the king-on-queen action themselves needn't worry, as they'd get to hear about it eventually. Noble boning skills were subject to rigorous study and detailed writing. Let's return to Marie Antoinette and her famously frigid marriage to Louis XVI. Their sexual incompatibility was discussed often in court meetings, official correspondence, and even diplomatic talks. Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II wrote in great detail about how hilariously awful Louis XVI was in bed, as he apparently only "introduced his member, stayed there for two minutes without moving, withdrew without ejaculation, and then, still erect, wished [his wife] good evening." Joseph's holy recommendation was that his brother-in-law be "whipped like a donkey to make him discharge in anger."
Antoine-Francois CalletIt's possible that he felt self-conscious about his freakish giraffe neck (which you will never unsee now that we've mentioned it).