Jake was discovered and taken to a vet, who located the owner via microchip. The owner was thrilled that Jake had been found, but couldn't make a cross-country trip, and so the animal charity A Darrah Bull Bully Rescue rallied its troops to find volunteers who could drive various legs of the 2,000-mile, three-day odyssey. Jake had a great time and loved everyone he met during his road trip, although he refused to discuss the events that led him to Pennsylvania, preferring to put that dark chapter of his life behind him.
And that, until we finally succeed in our attempts to teach dogs how to use Google Maps, is how you get a lost animal home. In total, the operation took 20 transporters, three people who could keep Jake overnight, 30 stops in nine states, and one very good boy.
A Darrah Bull Bully Rescue"Am I home? I can't tell. I've had my head out the window since Kentucky."
Related: 6 Normal People Who Turned Into Action Heroes Out Of Nowhere
80 Strangers Formed A Human Chain To Rescue Swimmers From A Riptide
A fun day at the beach can quickly turn into a life-or-death situation -- an important reminder that the Universe can and will use anything in its power to destroy us. One notable attempted murder occurred in Florida in 2017, when two boys wandered away from their family and were caught in a rip current. Family members and other beachgoers attempted to rescue them until nine goddamn people were stuck, because sometimes emergency situations devolve into clown car bullshit.
There was no lifeguard on duty, possibly because they cost money and Florida figures that they have tourists to spare. While a rescue boat was on its way, some of the stranded people had already been out there for 20 minutes and were struggling to tread water. With people on the verge of drowning, everyone on the beach declared "Eat shit, Poseidon!" and formed a human chain to drag the swimmers to safety.
Roberta Ursrey, Via The Washington PostIt isn't a summer vacation until you've engaged in a battle of wills against the pitiless sea.
Roughly 80 people -- some of whom couldn't even swim -- built the chain, while two strong swimmers went out to drag the exhausted victims close enough that they could be retrieved, then passed from person to person until they reached land. That's when God decided to turn on Hard Difficulty.
One of the victims, a 67-year-old woman, had a massive heart attack, and what was later revealed to be an aortic aneurysm in her stomach. She urged the rescuers to let her drown and ensure their own safety, but they still got her to the beach, and then a hospital, where she was stabilized. Everyone survived, and while most witnesses and reporters talked about how the incident was a stirring reminder of the power of human cooperation, we would argue that the lesson is to always just spend your vacations getting drunk on dry land.
Mark is on Twitter and wrote a book.
If you loved this article and want more content like this, consider a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
For more, check out Why Benedict Arnold Was An American Hero (And Still A Traitor) - Hilarious Helmet History:
The first-ever Cracked Podcast LIVE TOUR is coming to a city near (some of) you this spring! Tickets on sale now for Chicago IL (April 11th) and St. Paul MN (April 12th).
Follow us on Facebook. Because you're the hero we NEED right now.