But in 2003, ponytailed men across the state found a champion in James Maloney, lawyer by day, martial enthusiast by night (and also day). In 2000, Maloney was arrested for possession of nunchucks. This led him on a legal crusade across several courts to be allowed to keep nunchucks in the safety and privacy of his own home, so that he could teach his kids the nunchaku martial art of his own invention. Finally, in 2018, District Judge Pamela K. Chen handed Maloney his long-awaited victory. Then she went one step further, declaring the entire law unconstitutional, as it infringes on American nunchaku wielders' right to bear arms. And feet. And whatever other parts of their body they tell Tinder dates are registered as dangerous weapons.
This should be cause of celebration. While nunchucks as a means of self-defense are considered unpredictably dangerous by many, a blanket ban of them in an entire state seems pointless, if not downright hypocritical. Maniacs can't massacre an entire school with nunchucks, unless the entire school agrees to only fight back one person at a time. So with the almost simultaneous relaxing of laws regarding nunchaku and the federal ban on bump stocks, America seems to be heading to the more rational side of weapon control. Unfortunately, the only reason Malory was victorious now is that things have actually gotten worse.