4

Dan Helmer Goes Top Gun In A Karaoke Ad

Virginian Democrat Dan Helmer is running against Barbara Comstock for Congress in 2018, and in late 2017 he dropped a campaign ad that would get even the staunchest progressive voting Republican.

"I've feel the need. The need to dweeb!"

Helmer arrives at a bar on his motorcycle. His wife, Karen, tells him that Comstock is there, and she challenges Helmer to get Comstock to hold a town hall. Helmer responds, "Town hall? I can do you one better than that." Then he adds "we've lost that loving feeling," immediately disproving his claim. Even his wife tells him that this is a bad idea, but her plea falls on tone deaf ears, as Helmer grabs a microphone and launches into the song. But get this, the lyrics have a political twist!

You know it's sad when that dude's hat isn't the saddest thing in here.

3

The Michigan Republican Party's Sharknado Ad

This attack ad on Michigan Democrat Gary Peters, featuring tornadoes, flying sharks, and bad CGI, was a desperate attempt by the Republicans to stay relevant ahead of the 2014 midterms. Laboring under the misbegotten belief that people weren't already sick of hearing about Sharknado, the 30-second ad starts with Peters' head plastered on a cartoon body, making him look like Nedry from Jurassic Park.

As he stands on the beach, a voice narrates: "Dark clouds are gathering, and Gary Peters is in the eye of the storm." It goes on to claim that Peters is funded by a convicted felon who is connected to a loan shark ring run by an international gangster. It's a serious accusation that's completely undercut by the "baby's first Flash animation" style.

No Strong. Just Bad.

2

David Dewhurst Parodies "Let It Go"

David Dewhurst is the former lieutenant governor of Texas, and in the 2014 primary he ran against Tea Party candidate Dan Patrick, aka Dannie Goeb, who worked in radio and television during the '70s and '80s. Dewhurst released a bizarre video featuring a cutout of Patrick performing a confessional song in which he "comes clean" about changing his name and having a career in the entertainment industry, both of which are apparently unspeakable sins. Oh, and it's a "Let It Go" parody, because Dewhurst hates this world and everything that lives in it.

He's just Deworst.

We're also treated to footage of Patrick/Goeb doing some kind of stage performance straight out of the '70s, as though aging is just another of his great deceptions.

*crickets chirp*

1

Ted Cruz Ruins Office Space

In 2016, the Cruz campaign targeted Hillary Clinton and her email scandal by parodying the iconic Office Space scene, wherein our disgruntled heroes wreck their useless office printer.

In Cruz's ad, Clinton goes to town on a computer while "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Clinton" plays. Get it? It's a parody of Geto Boys' "Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta" from, uh ... a completely different Office Space scene.

This was all a jab at an FBI report that revealed Clinton's aides destroyed two of her malfunctioning mobile phones.

The single worst act a potential president could commit.

The only problem is that the parody wants us to view Clinton as an entitled elitist, even though in Office Space, the scene is a small rebellion against the system by trod-upon, sympathetic characters. Maybe someone should explain this movie to Ted Cruz.

"OK, first off, what's that word mean? 'Sympathetic'?"

Cruz also clearly wanted to score Cool Points by aping the Geto Boys song, but the group publicly denounced Cruz's ad on the biggest platform built solely for public denouncements: Twitter.

One member also appeared on Yahoo News to call the ad "blasphemy." Maybe someone needs to sit Cruz down and explain the movie. And then pop culture. And then humanity in general. Try to use numbers.

Zanandi will now be taking your questions on Twitter. Also, read her blog.

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