In a plot twist for Hollywood's attempt at gender equality, it has now been revealed that Asia Argento, feminist director and one of the spokespeople of #MeToo, paid off her very own underage sexual assault accuser. But before some of us get worn out by the inevitable tsunami of hot takes trying to erode all the good #MeToo has done, here's something to bolster your faith: You're probably making more money than Kevin Spacey's latest film did.
Spacey's new movie, Billionaire Boys Club, made only $126 on its opening day, and $618 over the entire weekend. According to The Hollywood Reporter's calculations, that means only about 66 people went and saw the movie opening night (which also starred Ansel Elgort and Taron Egerton), with two theaters in California and Minnesota having but one audience member apiece.
Admittedly, the film received an extremely limited release and is already out on VOD, but that's some unflinchingly harsh symbolism for Spacey's ruined career, and this is from a movie that has a scene wherein he gets brutally killed by Hollywood's most baby-faced actors.
The movie wrapped in 2016, long before we all stopped pretending Spacey is creepy as hell, and distributor Vertical Entertainment was very conflicted about releasing the film at all afterward. They finally did so last week, saying they hoped the "distressing allegations pertaining to one person's behavior ... do not tarnish the release," which is an odd way to phrase that you couldn't afford Christopher Plummer's Spacey-Be-Gone fees.
So for anyone worried (legitimately so) that he would just get to come back and skeeve up our prestige dramas again, it looks like the Kevin Spacey Revival Tour isn't going to happen anytime soon. Sure, Mel Gibson is managing to somehow bounce back from behaving like everyone's most racist granduncle, but even at his slurriest, none of his movies ever garnered less revenue than your niece's lemonade stand.
For more weird tangents and his personal recipes for toilet wine, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.
Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.
Follow us on Facebook. It's free.
Instagram influencers are often absurd.
A good horror story is hard to pull off.
All commercials are a least a little weird.
These actions stars were so bad at being badass, they were just ass.