The Author Of 'Little Women' Was Just In It For The Drugs

Louisa May Alcott's Little Women is the most wholesome book they forced you to read in eighth grade. The novel and its sequels were pleasant stories, mostly about domesticity and valuing virtue over wealth. And then you learn that Alcott wrote them for the same reasons most pop songs are made: money and drugs, baby.

Alcott called Little Women "moral pap for the young," and admitted that she wrote the book solely for the boatloads of cash it would net her (hence all those sequels).

Ella Reeve BloorLittle Women = big paycheck

Continue Reading Below


Continue Reading Below


Yes, Alcott wrote stories about how unimportant money was because those made the most money. And when she wasn't telling kids about the nobility of starving to death, she was getting high on opium -- a drug she used for most of her life. Today she'd probably be considered an addict, but since she lived in polite 19th century society, she was just "well-medicated."

Much like those less-than-tasteful nudes you posed for in your 20s, Alcott tried to cover up her earlier, racier work when Little Women became popular. She created a brand out of being a wholesome, responsible woman who preferred smiles to dollars, but in reality, she was dedicated to making that paper, and exchanging that paper for poppy. So who knows, maybe there's a classic novel or two inside 50 Cent. We just haven't given him the chance.

Continue Reading Below


Seriously, check out some of her earlier work. Hoo boy.

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out Bats Won't Fly Into Your Hair (Like In The Movies) and Door Knobs Weren't Invented Until AFTER The Civil War.

Follow us on Facebook, if you like jokes and stuff.

To turn on reply notifications, click here


Load Comments

More Articles

5 Screwed-Up Secrets The Ultra-Rich Don't Want You To Know

You don't make astonishing amounts of money without ending up a jerk in some way.


5 Crazy Statistics That'll Change How You Think Of Crime

Criminal behavior can be influenced by some very weird, seemingly random factors.


5 Billion-Dollar Industries That Treat Workers Like Garbage

Even our most popular forms of entertainment can treat their employees like absolute trash.


5 Huge Scandals With Crazy Details The News Barely Mentioned

The news spent weeks reporting on these giant scandals without bothering to mention the stupidest parts.


6 Iconic Movies And Shows That Were Outright Ripoffs

Even Hollywood couldn't deny these films were total thievery.


5 Acts Of Charity That Went Horrendously Wrong

The road to losing your tax exemption status is paved with good intentions.