It takes caffeine 45 minutes to be ingested, and that seems dangerous, because your body seems to think that if you're sleeping for 45 minutes, you may as well sleep for five hours. But the caffeine stunts your body's production of adenosine -- a chemical which builds in your blood as you stay awake, and will eventually put you to sleep. So if you chug coffee and then start counting sheep right after, you slip right around the consequences and cheat your body into letting you feel alert for once in your accursed life.
Just don't tell anyone else about this. You are a barely competent human being, and need every advantage over the others that you can get.
The Best. Part. Of wakin' up / is Folgers in your cup! Or, you know, other, better coffee.
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The flow of time is cruel to us all.
- By Mark Hill
- April 12, 2019