Slam Coffee, Then Nap: Science Says It Works!

Stop us when this sounds familiar: You start every morning incomprehensibly more tired than you should be. You slam coffee and energy drinks like sleepiness is a poison and they're the only antidote. You use any flimsy excuse to justify taking a "break to wake up" (hop in the shower, eat a snack, watch a movie that you've seen 16 times already). Can you relate?

There might be a better way! Research has shown that one of the most bizarre combinations you could imagine is actually one of the most effective for staying alert. Ingesting caffeine and then immediately taking a 15-minute nap is better than just guzzling enough caffeine to plow through your work like a sweaty Walking Dead extra.

Look, it's either chug and nap or <a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bznDjbQLzMo target=_blank>coffee enemas</a>. Choose wisely.Grafvision/Adobe StockLook, it's either chug and nap or coffee enemas. Choose wisely.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

It takes caffeine 45 minutes to be ingested, and that seems dangerous, because your body seems to think that if you're sleeping for 45 minutes, you may as well sleep for five hours. But the caffeine stunts your body's production of adenosine -- a chemical which builds in your blood as you stay awake, and will eventually put you to sleep. So if you chug coffee and then start counting sheep right after, you slip right around the consequences and cheat your body into letting you feel alert for once in your accursed life.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Just don't tell anyone else about this. You are a barely competent human being, and need every advantage over the others that you can get.

The Best. Part. Of wakin' up / is Folgers in your cup! Or, you know, other, better coffee.

Support your favorite Cracked writers with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out The Vampire Parasite That Replaces A Fish's Tongue and Dinosaurs Were Constantly Fighting And Yes, It Was Awesome.

Follow us on Facebook ... if you can muster the energy to click this link.

To turn on reply notifications, click here

25 Comments

Load Comments

More Articles

The Classic Sitcom That Looks Completely Insane In 2019

Let us pitch you a sitcom ...

316

The 6 Most Epically Lazy Ripoffs Of Famous Movies And Shows

Some people in entertainment don't even bother trying to come up with fresh ideas.

87

5 Ridiculous Frauds Who Managed To Fool All Of The News

These stories are so weird we're not even sure Hollywood would touch them.

125

The 5 Worst Things Happening In Gaming Today

Here is a rundown of the gauntlet of madness that gaming has floundered through this year.

138