Stop us when this sounds familiar: You start every morning incomprehensibly more tired than you should be. You slam coffee and energy drinks like sleepiness is a poison and they're the only antidote. You use any flimsy excuse to justify taking a "break to wake up" (hop in the shower, eat a snack, watch a movie that you've seen 16 times already). Can you relate?
There might be a better way! Research has shown that one of the most bizarre combinations you could imagine is actually one of the most effective for staying alert. Ingesting caffeine and then immediately taking a 15-minute nap is better than just guzzling enough caffeine to plow through your work like a sweaty Walking Dead extra.
coffee enemas. Choose wisely." width="350" height="233" class="lazy" data-src="https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/6/0/2/663602_v2.jpg" />Grafvision/Adobe Stock
It takes caffeine 45 minutes to be ingested, and that seems dangerous, because your body seems to think that if you're sleeping for 45 minutes, you may as well sleep for five hours. But the caffeine stunts your body's production of adenosine -- a chemical which builds in your blood as you stay awake, and will eventually put you to sleep. So if you chug coffee and then start counting sheep right after, you slip right around the consequences and cheat your body into letting you feel alert for once in your accursed life.
Just don't tell anyone else about this. You are a barely competent human being, and need every advantage over the others that you can get.
The Best. Part. Of wakin' up / is Folgers in your cup! Or, you know, other, better coffee.
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