5 Real People Who Have The World's Worst Superpowers

After depleting a small warehouse's worth of antibiotics and nasal sprays, Mabbutt finally found Dr. Burton, who recognized the affliction and cured his inner microphone with a surgery to seal off the defective bone. Now Stephen lives a boring life like anybody else, and the only time he can hear his spleen screaming is on Arby's Night, as God intended.

But there was a strange cost to this eternal vigilance. At about the same time each night, the patient would experience a 20-60-minute episode of auditory, visual, olfactory, and tactile hallucinations, along with pain in his fingers and toes. So really, it's less like gaining a power, and more of an exchange: You're trading eight hours of sleep for one hour of a bad acid trip.

The patient was diagnosed with a neurological disorder called Morvan's fibrillary chorea, which is so rare that only 28 cases have ever been documented. Other symptoms include itching, delirium, weakness, diarrhea, cramping, and sweating. Doctors suspect that Morvan syndrome has something to do with the thymus gland, seeing as how about half of its sufferers had a thymus tumor and, more importantly, removing the thymus seems to completely cure them. Which is good, because in the case of the wakeful Frenchman, he died 11 months after developing the illness. Maybe that last little side effect should make the top of the list next time.

It was then that Milne, a retired nurse, figured out that she hadn't been smelling her husband's BO, but instead had a very special and macabre gift: the ability to sniff out Parkinson's in someone's sweat. And what's more, she has a 100 percent accurate track record. When an analytical chemist at Edinburgh University tested her, Milne managed to get 11 out of 12 guesses correct ... until eight months later, when one subject she supposedly identified wrongly got the diagnosis. Pretty terrible way to ace an exam.

Before Milne, doctors didn't know that Parkinson's had a smell, but now it joins the ranks of diabetes (which smells sweet), liver dysfunction (which smells musty), and severe diarrhea (which smells like severe diarrhea). That's actually great news, because right now, the disorder can only be diagnosed after most of the neural damage has already occurred. With Milne's nose to the rescue, treatment could start a lot earlier and do a lot more good. Of course, she can't be in every hospital all the time, so scientists are working to create a definitive lab test based on her uncanny abilities. Yet despite having a nose that could save lives, Milne says that a lot of people specifically ask her not to sniff them.

Yes, one time a would-be robber put a knife to her throat, and SM stared him down with such utter disdain that the attacker freaked out and let her go. And sure, that's how superheroes are made ... but also orphans.

Urbach-Wiethe superheroes even have their own kryptonite: carbon dioxide. According to researchers, U-W only erases the fear from external threats, all of which are immediately reported to the amygdala. Internal threats, however, like inhaling and choking on carbon dioxide, send warning signals to other parts of the brain, which U-W sufferers do feel. So there you go -- handy knowledge in case you ever need to take down an invincible housewife.

Laura H shoots radiation at people for a living. Follow her on Twitter.

Support Cracked's journalism with a visit to our Contribution Page. Please and thank you.

For more, check out 6 Real DNA Mutations That Make Ordinary People X-Men and 7 People From Around The World With Real Mutant Superpowers.

Follow us on Facebook, because you're the hero we NEED right now.