How It Almost Ended:

In the original version, Murtaugh says, "It's a mean old world," and mentions that he wants to quit the force. Riggs calls him old, and then they part ways, never to see one other again. That's it. That was almost the final scene of one of the greatest action franchises in film history.

That leaves Riggs once again on his own, battling depression, with no friends or support system. No one in his life to help him if he puts that gun back in his mouth. Not wrapping that plotline up would have been sad and disturbing, but not as sad and disturbing as the reality it would have created wherein pop culture nerds endlessly debate whether or not Riggs killed himself at the end of Lethal Weapon.

How It Almost Ended:

In the wisely shelved eight-minute alternate ending, Mowgli approaches the village when Buldeo, a crazy man, tries to on blow Mowgli's brains out TWICE, all while claiming that Mowgli is a shapeshifter. Three months later (no, seriously), Mowgli calls Buldeo out for falsely claiming to have killed Shere Khan. Buldeo responds to this the only way he knows: by trying to shoot a child. A child he's now known personally for three months. In broad daylight. In public. Mowgli's parents do nothing to Buldeo about this second murder attempt, and don't believe Mowgli about Shere Khan. And we're still. Not. Done.

Walt Disney Pictures"This gun barrel is bigger than your arm, you little turd."

So now that village life is ten times suckier and more dangerous than jungle life, Mowgli grabs a torch and steals away to live with the animals again. Then, for some reason, he rampages through the jungle, terrorizing animals with fire, picking a fight with his wolf dad, and challenging Shere Khan to battle. Mowgli then changes his mind, calls him a few names, and runs away. Remember, this was all meant to have happened after The Jungle Book movie that we already know was finished.

But there's an after party to the after party, because Mowgli then vents to Baloo and Bagheera about how terrible Man Village was, and they decide they hate him now. Mowgli officially belongs nowhere. Then Buldeo finds Mowgli and takes him out for some ice cream. Oh wait! No. He threatens to shoot a child again unless Mowgli takes him to the Lost City, which means that we're now packing 2 Jungle Book movies' worth of plot into the conclusion of one. Mowgli does so, at which point Buldeo decides he's going to burn down the entire jungle and orders Mowgli to run along and die in the fire. Mowgli knocks the torch into the river, saving Shere Khan and the jungle. Of course, he once again ends up on the business end of Buldeo's rifle.

And now it's Shere Khan to the rescue! He leaps from out of nowhere, killing Buldeo, finally using murder for the power of good. Now that the two have saved each other's lives, you'd think they would reconcile and go their separate ways as equals. But instead, Mowgli picks up the rifle and shoots Shere Khan in the face!

Walt Disney Pictures"Jesus! You've killed enough characters! Our kids have been in the theater for six hours!"

Mowgli, in this movie which somehow still hasn't ended, then meets up with Baloo and Bagheera, and the pair are so delighted at his grotesque tale of vengeance and death that they become friends again! Seriously, here's a storyboard of Bagheera grinning with pure joy at the dead bodies.

Walt Disney Pictures"Haha! Hey, Baloo! Know any songs about bloated corpses? Hahaha!"

Mowgli is then hero to both the village and the jungle alike -- for running away, terrorizing the place with arson, shooting everything in sight, and leaving a trail of torched trees and dead bodies in his wake. Oh, and we forgot to mention: He also got a part-time job as King of the Wolves in this ending. So congratulations to The Jungle Book, the first and only film to ever put more than 90 percent of its story into a deleted scene.

Anyway, after several rides, their hostage starts enjoying himself. He discovers he was only being terrorized with a BB gun, both the police and park owner Roy Walley show up, and Clark gives a speech so moving that nobody presses charges. And as absurd as all that is, it could have been even weirder ...

How It Almost Ended:

In the original John Hughes script, there is no John Candy (who was only hired for the reshot ending), no roller coasters, and no family fun of any kind. Instead, after arriving at the closed park, Clark tracks Roy Walley down and bursts into his house with the gun, interrupting a business meeting. Then he shoves the gun in Walley's face and threatens to shoot complete strangers if they don't sing and dance until his family is entertained.

Warner Bros. Pictures

Warner Bros. Pictures"If you're h-happy (sniff), and you n-n-know it, clap your h-ha-a-ands! *sob*"

The police obviously arrest Clark, but Walley, a recent death threat recipient that has only been in this film for about 3 minutes, inexplicably forgives him and refuses to press charges. And believe it or not, that's a gentler version of the Hughes-penned short story the film is based on. In "Vacation '58," published in National Lampoon, Clark shoots Walt Disney -- yes, that Walt Disney -- in the leg after gunning down his dog. It ends with Clark going to jail for attempted murder ... and noise violations.

John Hughes

John Hughes"Haha! Attempted murder! That part gets me every time!"

Once the other Kryptonians are safely back in their star prison, Martha Kent persuades Superman to keep the pod as a monument to his people, despite it being a doorway to a dimension filled with genocidal super-criminals. So we're not saying this original ending was "better" -- simply more in-character.

It's hard to imagine why anyone would write this, even in a first draft. Why is he there? What business does a skittish comic relief patsy have in the middle of a superpowers / robot suits fight? And where did he get the Extremis? And why does everyone, during a very important time-sensitive mission, stop to listen to him accuse someone of locking him in a cupboard? And who locked him in a cupboard, and who is he screaming at? Apparently no one wanted to try to answer these questions, because after rambling for a bit, Trevor explodes.

Yes, the original ending to Iron Man 3 involved Ben Kingsley running into the big climactic fight scene to rant incoherently for a few minutes and then explode. And we all missed out on that.

The true irony here is that between the happy ending that makes no sense and the appropriate ending that pisses you off, there was no way to end this show that could satisfy anyone. Maybe this show just sucks and we're all going to die knowing nothing but confusion.

And that, kids, is how I met your existential depression.

Nathan is a Christian and says things like "Praise Jesus!" He is also called Treegnome, and has a hilarious website called Supertreegnome.com. For more on Brendan, check out his other articles on cut movie endings here and here (Sensing a pattern?). He also writes about superhero movies and makes short films. Check out his latest short film and tweet him your thoughts!

Hey, HIMYM fans, if you don't have a blue French Horn on your wall or desk or other blank space in your life, you should.

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