Millennials: "Glenn Beck is ruining our grandparents."
Glenn Beck's rag The Blaze agrees, pining for the days when there was only one trophy, handed out to the winner, and those who came in third or lower were summarily executed.
The Federalist claims that millennials' lust for participation trophies has bled into the workplace. They say that millennials, especially women, want promotions the same way they want trophies: whether they earned them or not. If only they weren't babied so much at soccer games, maybe millennials would be better human beings. A competitive football game is what made the Greatest Generation great and the Baby Boomers boom, right?
They sort of have to be to float the local economy.
This HuffPo article starts with "Youth sports: a chance to run around, play sports with friends and have fun ... At least that's how it used to be." But now youth sports culture is so demanding and competitive that kids are emotionally and physically drained, with most dropping out by age 13.
"Take it easy, kid. If you don't get a trophy for losing, then we won't get to spend a lifetime berating you for it."
The consequences run even deeper, though. Sports are so intense now that kids are getting injured like never before. That comes from The Washington Post, the same people who coined the term "Participation Trophy Generation."
Man, it's almost like these writers just hate the younger generation because they're trapped in old, failing bodies and growing increasingly irrelevant to society by the day. But that couldn't be it. That's too far-fetched. No, it is the avocado's fault, surely ...
David Klesh was born in 1980, but refuses to call himself a millennial. His writing has also appeared on the Faith Hope and Fiction blog. Dan Hopper is an editor for Cracked, previously for CollegeHumor and BestWeekEver.tv. He fires off consistent A-tweets at @DanHopp. Adam Schwallie has a Twitter, where he tweets in between destroying all of the industries that Baby Boomers hold near and dear to their hearts.
You know what Millenials aren't killing? These dope Caribou Boots that you can use to continue to not kill industries with because that's an unfair characterization of a generation of fun-loving people.
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