Because if there's a national barometer for how hard you should be partying, it's f*****g Forbes.
Or wait, actually, millennials aren't drinking as much as previous generations. This Forbes article (named "Millennials Gone Mild" *fart noise*) tells of bars and nightclubs closing en masse, as millennials prefer to go out to sober events like "juice crawls," or stay home altogether. The author goes on to say "Over the past few years, Millennials have started identifying as 'grandmas' and 'grandpas' when they stay in for the night -- a lifestyle choice revered by most members of 'Generation Yawn.'" Somebody revoke this man's word license.
Reality: a 1 percent drop since last year
Oh, and millennials couldn't afford to drink, even if they wanted to. Business Insider has concluded that they're also killing the beer industry. Even wine sales have flatlined.
So millennials are obsessed with drinking, particularly high-quality alcohol, to the point where the industry is changing to accommodate them. But at the same time, they're not drinking as much as previous generations, because they can't afford it and they're all doing sober juice crawls wherein they butt-chug ginger shots, causing bars to spontaneously explode. They're drinking less beer, but record amounts of wine, but also wine consumption hasn't increased in the past year. Why can't they drink exactly the right amount?