What seems like a simple story of a van called "Le Pimp Mobile," painted pink with voluptuous lip decals, is actually a tale of a small village in turmoil. The contentious van, parked near a street in North Devon, has drawn scathing criticism. A warning: the harsh language quoted ahead may cause more sensitive readers to pass out or vomit. And since this is happening in the UK, imagine them being spoken in the most British voice you can possibly imagine.
"It's not very nice at all," said the chairman of the village council. "It seems like a very odd thing to do," he continued. Ooooh snap, can you believe he just said that? This fracas has officially been upgraded to "brouhaha" levels of intensity.
"Not a nice view entering our beautiful village," said another resident. Jesus Christ, the kid gloves are coming off. One neighbor brought the conflict to a whole new level, saying, "It's degrading to women and nobody wants to see this foul van when driving into any village." My god, it's a miracle this village isn't swimming in its own blood as people take to the streets to bludgeon each other to death.
The owner of the van fired back with a vengeance, calling those offended "complaining do-gooders," then cackled loudly to the flash of lighting and boom of thunder, riding atop his pink van while manning a machine gun. In his defense, he claims the van is a protest not only against the poorly managed traffic near his home, but that the UK is the only country in the EU to ban prostitution. His ultimatum is that he'll remove the "hookers welcome" from the van if the traffic speed improves, but he's keeping "Le Pimp Mobile," because according to him, "that's just a laugh." It's just a laugh, until he mysteriously ends up stabbed to death the exact number of times as there are people living in the town.