In Jersey Boys, the Four Seasons are watching some old movie where a man slaps a woman, to which one of them says "I bet you she cries." Another responds, "Big girls don't cry ..." Cue instant jump-cut to their fully fleshed out hit. The song literally starts the moment his line is finished, like they were terrified the audience would take a bathroom break and forget this scene.

In Straight Outta Compton, Dr. Dre complains about the trouble he's having with his solo album. Snoop Dogg hands him a joint, Dre coughs up half a lung and asks what he just smoked, Snoop says it's "the chronic," and Dre immediately demands to be taken to the studio. To record a track from The Chronic.

We can't wait until Three 6 Mafia get a biopic and Juicy J gets a flash of inspiration while eating corn and getting a blowjob.

But let's take a closer look at the very first shot of that montage. A superhero is punching an armed robber outside the Gotham Opera House while a wealthy socialite couple looks on. It's obviously a Batman reference, except here his parents survive. It's almost as if ... could it be ... the times are a-changin?!

And yet Snyder still felt his clear homage was too impossibly subtle, so he hit the CAPS LOCK on life, and plastered a bunch of Batman posters all over the background. And the more you think about that, the less sense it makes.

Warner Bros. Pictures Which ... actually, is the perfect symbolism for a Zack Snyder film ...

Does Batman exist in this universe? If so, who the hell is he? This is Batman's origin story. Also, why do Batman comics exist before the pivotal event that created the hero? Wouldn't Nite Owl preventing that event cause both to cease to exist? Why is Batman the one exception to Watchmen's rule: that there are no superhero comics because the real deal defeats the point of making them? Why would DC think that putting comic book posters outside of an opera house would help them reach their intended audience, decades before DC making bad marketing decisions became routine? What is going on in this world? Its internal logic was annihilated just to make sure that nerds didn't miss a Batman reference, as if that's ever a possibility.

Wow, it's Watergate! You know, that famous location that literally everyone thinks about when they hear Nixon's name? That's what hotel it was. In case you were confused as to what this weird break-in scene could possibly be about. Why Nixon sent a witness to his own crime scene was unaddressed.

Tension grows between a black civilian who is losing his neighborhood and the emergency responders who are furiously working to reroute the lava and save LACMA's art. The embodiment of every racist cop stereotype arrests the civilian for asking a firefighter what's going to happen to his home, and he, in turn, refers to the cop as Mark Fuhrman in a reference that would last throughout the ages.

20th Century Fox "You know the famous racist cop. No, the other one. No, the other other one."

After some more forced tension, the lava flow mercifully shows up. Another cop goes to free the citizen, who thinks he's about to be attacked for some reason, and says: "I'm about to be the volcano version of Rodney King."

20th Century Fox "Don't be ridiculous. I'd need at least three more officers for that."

They eventually put aside their differences and work together, because our petty differences only serve to divide us, when we should be focusing on the true enemy: nature. Volcano could have left it at that, but no. A reporter gets on camera to say, "This crisis has surely touched every one of us." Every one of us. Okay, we get it, good j--

Then we're treated to a shot where everyone's covered in ash. Why, with their skin concealed, every human being looks the same!

20th Century Fox

All right, we truly get it, movie: Racism is bad and we--

Then a passing officer carrying a lost boy asks what his mom looks like. The camera pans over the indistinguishable crowd.

20th Century Fox

There you go, finally, it's clear th--

Then the kid says "Look at their faces ... they all look the same."

Oooh wait. We didn't actually get it before. Now we get it!

20th Century Fox "Honestly, your mom's probably dead. Just pick a new one; I got volcano shit to take care of ..."

Shockingly, Volcano did not solve racism forever.

Saikat Bhowmik has a serious account at Twitter and an Amuzic (that's not a spelling mistake) YouTube channel. You can keep up with all of Mike Bedard's movie-related opinions by following him on Twitter. When he's not writing, Sam Hurley co-hosts the funniest movie review podcast you've never heard, now on iTunes, SoundCloud, and Stitcher. He also tweets unrequited appreciation at his fave celebs here. Jacob Lewis is the sole writer at It's All Clown Shoes.

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