Someone please cast Val Kilmer in a movie where he isn't a douche so he knows what that's like.
Yes, Kilmer not only understands murder, but he understands it more than a person who has taken a life. By his logic, a Vietnam veteran riddled with PTSD and health issues from communists-killing pesticide ingestion doesn't really know what it's like, because they haven't read a script about it. And as we all know, the U.S. war draft that sent many young folks to fight on the other side of the world only targeted broke-ass delinquents. Klosterman made really, really sure he was hearing Kilmer right:
"I know more about volleyball too than fighter pilots. Much more."
You heard the man: Fighter pilots are too bogged down in their pride to be aware that they are maneuvering a billion-dollar piece of equipment meant to kill people. The author tried to turn the scenario against Kilmer by asking what if another actor played him in a movie, but Kilmer would have none of it. He surmised that if an actor was going to play the part of Val Kilmer, he still wouldn't have that magic Kilmer-esque way of becoming the part, because Val Kilmer is an actor. It's just simple math.
So John Malkovich doesn't know shit about being John Malkovich, because he was John Malkovich in Being John Malkovich.
Klosterman then decided to open the asshole of the universe and ask, "what if it was a movie about your teen years?" Kilmer then conceded that yes, he would suppose that actor would know Val Kilmer more than young Val Kilmer knew himself. He then opened his mouth and swallowed Klosterman, like a Sphinx displeased that you actually solved its riddle.
Justin writes more here. He has a podcast, a Twitter, and a bitchin' riding mower.
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