5

Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain -- Turn Guards Into Your Unwitting Kamikaze Army

Phantom Pain is the final chapter in Konami's Metal Gear Solid series, which solves the franchise's ever-present problem with contrived plots and plot holes by having no plot whatsoever. The gameplay itself is pretty good, especially for players who enjoy being as nasty to other characters as the Konami executives were to the people who made this game.

4

Just Cause 3 -- This Game Makes Animal Cruelty Way Too Much Fun

Just Cause is about the American dream of successfully freeing an island from the clutches of a totalitarian regime by sending in one guy equipped with a rope and a parachute. Unfortunately, it's not that rare that an overthrown dictator gets replaced by another vile monster ... in this case, you, the player.

Since the game gives you the chance to use all sorts of cool gadgets in order to overthrow the island's Castro knockoff, some players may end up deviating a bit from the objective. For instance, you can use your ropes to tie up enemies, turn them into a grappling hook ... or mix them with rocket science to fuck with other characters.

Square Enix
Rocket science, and some particularly potent chili.

But perhaps, torturing poor civilians who can barely resist is too much effort for you. In that case, how about some poor animals who don't even understand what the hell is happening? Behold, the island's famed Rocket Cow:

Square Enix
Probably not what Castro had in mind when he said he wanted to breed super cows.

You might even try to justify your sadistic tendencies by saying that it's all for the sake of scientific innovation. We present you an invention called the Cow-Rousel, which is pretty self-explanatory:

Square Enix
That's one way to make a milkshake, we guess.

When your reign of terror turns out to be even darker than the one originally supplied by the game, you may eventually decide to make things look more hopeful somehow. For example, creating an inverted Santa sleigh by hanging a bunch of cows from a plane:

Square Enix
Or it could be that afterburner seared steak is better than it sounds.

3

DayZ -- Frustrate Zombies By Rolling On The Floor In Front Of Them

Despite sounding like some sort of anti-narcolepsy medication, DayZ has been hailed as one of the most brutal, immersive zombie experiences on any media. This online game taught players to fear not only the undead, but also the barren, unforgivable landscape and, most of all, each other. It makes The Walking Dead look like Love Actually.

Too bad this one guy on YouTube made it impossible to take the game seriously ever again.

Bohemia Interactive
*Play for full effect*

YouTube user found out that DayZ zombies are even dumber than the average chunk of decomposing flesh. It turns out you don't need to make any stealth plans or be heavily equipped to avoid them. All you have to do is drop to the ground and roll over. It's almost like the game started as a "what to do if you catch on fire" simulator but then the developers decided to move it to a more profitable genre.

Bohemia Interactive
With a brief stop at "Tumbleweed Sim" before finally arriving at zombies.

See, video game characters have things called "hitboxes," which are ... boxes that can be hit. Invisible ones superimposed on the characters' body parts. It just so happens that when you're moving on the ground, your hitboxes remain completely out of the zombies' hitting range, which looks like a rather frustrating experience for them. NomadGaming eventually let his zombie pursuers catch up to him, and that's when things got really sad:

Bohemia Interactive
Apparently, the flies get extra annoying when you're a zombie.

2

FIFA 94 -- Avoid Red Cards Forever By Simply Running From The Referee

FIFA International Soccer (or FIFA 94) is the historic first game in a series that is somehow up to its 2017th installment by now. It included all the most popular features of the real-world sport of soccer. Feet, balls, and of course, players dramatically falling to the ground upon being lightly touched by other players.

EA Games
Like this guy, who was lightly touched by a fast-traveling foot.

Unfortunately, the game also included soccer's least popular feature: The referee who would suspend your players if they were on the giving end of a maneuver like the one depicted above. Obviously, the presence of such a character in a game you bought to avoid the limitations of real life was something that had to be dealt with. It wasn't long until players found out they could avoid the referee by ... literally avoiding the referee.

EA Games
Someone has already dubbed in "Yakety Sax".

1

Skyrim -- Use Giants To Launch Other Characters Into The Stratosphere

Skyrim is that incredibly challenging dragon-slaying game where the dragons are kind enough to land on the ground so that you can easily bash their heads in. For those looking for a bigger challenge, though, there's always Giants -- basically, regular humans, but nakeder and gianter. Ever engaged in combat with one? It's fine if you haven't, as this is how it plays out most of the time:

Bethesda Softworks
It's unclear if your character gets killed by the impact or from thirst while in the air.