Be honest: Are you the type of person who accidentally (or "accidentally") surfs Web MD for waaaay too long while worrying away about your current or impending health crises? If so, all we have to say is, turn back now. Sure, all the information in this article is completely factual, and we guess there is a chance you might be suffering from all these sneaky, singularly cruel conditions and won't realize it for years ... but still. Might wanna sit this one out, champ.
Still here? Oh boy. Let's get started.
Don't Change Your Contact Lenses Often? You Could Have Amoebas Growing In Your Eye
Proper eye hygiene is not something that gets taught in health class, but given the number of eyeballs reading this sentence through the filmy membrane of soft contact lenses right now (as many as 30 million pairs in the U.S.), it probably should be. Failing to throw out old contacts and replace them with new ones as often as we should puts us at risk for a number of horrifying complications: ulcers, infections, and about $175 million in U.S. healthcare costs every year.
Oh, and you could have a motherfucking parasite living inside your eye, eating your cornea. We'll pause now as some of you run to the nearest pharmacy.
Florida Local 10
If your eye is the Death Star, this bug is Luke.
When corneal scrapings are the recommended course of action for those who are suspected of having a condition, you know we're in nightmare territory right out of the gate. The symptoms are basically pink-eye times a thousand: red, itchy inflammation and a lot of pain. The culprit is the humble acanthamoeba, a very common parasite that can be found in dirt and water pretty much everywhere. Acanthamoeba isn't choosy about what it eats -- if left untreated, it just keeps on chomping until you're permanently blind. So hey, upside: Once it gets bad enough that you'd actually see the gross little fuckers, at least you won't see them for long, you know?
Florida Local 10
Oh, thanks for the arrow, ABC. No way we would have noticed this otherwise.