In the late 1980s, at the height of his Magnum P.I. fame, Selleck used his professional mustache money to purchase a secluded 63-acre ranch. After installing the standard celebrity tennis court and helicopter pad, Selleck cut out a little patch of land for his secret passion project: becoming an avocado farmer. He tends to the 20-acre avocado farm in his backyard himself, and cultivating avocados from flower to disappointing fruit is a point of pride for Selleck, who had commented how "sexual" the process of seeing the flowers and bees getting all freaky is. He'll also let anyone know that his anti-pears are much better than those of Jamie Foxx, who's his next-acre neighbor and chief avocado rival.
So when California was hit with a miserable drought in recent years, Selleck had to make sure it didn't affect his precious, precious avocados. In order to bypass water use limits, he had a tanker truck drive to a fire hydrant in another district and steal water from the town. This happened over a dozen times before anyone noticed. Ultimately, his wretched water thievery was found out by the townsfolk, and Selleck was fined $21,000 for the contraband liquid -- which is still a good deal, considering what LA people pay for bottled water. That money was immediately put to good use paying the private investigator they hired for this whodunit, whom they owed a whopping $22,000 for figuring out it was Magnum on the farm with the avocados.