These are the result of a medieval obsession with Ars Moriendi, or the art of dying well. Medieval people were understandably preoccupied with death and the afterlife, since they were constantly dying of pretty much everything. But giving in to agony and allowing your face to contort into an outward reflection of one of the five temptations (disbelief, despair, impatience, pride, and avarice) was a sure way to find yourself bathed in eternal hellfire. On the other hand, displaying the calmness of Christ on the cross was a one-way ticket to the pearly gates.

Since the whole thing was about dying a Christly death, nobody was better at ignoring their own murder than the priesthood. Here's Saint Peter of Verona, for instance, who didn't even let a simultaneous chest-stabbing and head-splitting interrupt his prayer time:

Taddeo Crivelli
"I'll be with you in a moment, giant cleaver."

And here's Saint Bartholomew, modeling his own skin like it's the hot new look from Pierre Cardin:

Matteo di Giovanni
"Now give me 'Ugh, I'm SO over flailing as a torture method right now.'" *camera flash* *camera flash* "YES! Brilliant!" *camera flash*

This is Otto Skorzeny, poster boy of the German SS.

German Federal Archives
It wasn't a great poster.

You probably assumed he got that gnarly facial scar from an errant grenade or a Captain America haymaker, but it is in fact a souvenir from a centuries-old German tradition known as Mensur. Take an American fraternity hazing, replace the wooden paddles with swords, and (as one should always do with Nazis) swap the ass for the face, and you'd get the idea. A Mensur bout started with opponents donning protective gear -- leather chest guards, thick scarves, and, of course, bizarre steampunk goggles. Safety first!

via True the Man's Magazine
"I just feel like I forgot something. My keys? Ah well, commence stabbing!"

While the tips of the swords were blunted enough to prevent outright murder, they were still capable of inflicting some truly nasty gashes. The aftermath of a Mensur match looked like the makeup room for The Walking Dead.

via Transylmania
"This was fun. This is what fun is."

The horrific scars were considered badges of honor, even though bearing them implied that you lost so badly that you literally got your face rocked off. Strangely, though facial scars and Nazi officers go together like Nazi officers and impotence, the Third Reich actually outlawed Mensur when it came to power. But of course, if you outlaw something to protect idiots from themselves, all you're doing is making them feel like outlaws. Some fraternities still practice it to this day.

Czestomir/Wiki Commons
Here's a Polish frat member really, really hoping his scar looks "Tyrion from the Game Of Thrones show" cool,
and not "Tyrion from the books" terrible.

It's not entirely relegated to history -- we still talk about the Grecian Bend today. See, during the construction of New York City's Brooklyn Bridge, workers traveled deep beneath the East River in specialized watertight metal tubes known as caissons. Traveling back up said tubes often resulted in decompression sickness. As construction workers watched their companions lurch around all hunched over, trying in vain to keep their own bodies from exploding, they obviously laughed and pointed out how this crippling pain made their friends look like those sexy upper-crust mutant ladies. Thus, decompression sickness became known as the Grecian Bend, later shortened to the bends.

Of course, in modern society, our diets have reversed. The wealthy can afford the freshest and healthiest food, while the poor survive entirely on deep-fried everything and hobo wine. Now gout is considered the Disease Of The Fat And Lazy, and history is seen as kind of an ironic dickhead.