Of course, in modern society, our diets have reversed. The wealthy can afford the freshest and healthiest food, while the poor survive entirely on deep-fried everything and hobo wine. Now gout is considered the Disease Of The Fat And Lazy, and history is seen as kind of an ironic dickhead.
Tuberculosis Was The Most Boneable Disease
Tuberculosis is a bacterial disease which causes victims to cough up bloody chunks of lung until they waste away into a pale, skeletal corpse. This is apparently sexy as all get-out.
In Renaissance times, pale skin was seen as highly attractive, because it meant that the pasty freak was so well-off that they never had to so much as step outside and see the awful, awful Sun. So following that logic, what could possibly be more attractive than the waxy and pallid complexion of a TB sufferer?
Philadelphia School of Dental Surgery
It's hard to tell due to the lack of color-based technology at the time, but this guy was Brad Pitt of the 1870s.
High-profile celebrities from John Keats to George Orwell to the Bronte sisters to esteemed gunslinger Doc Holliday succumbed to the disease, making it the "cool" way to go. Famous poet and esteemed sexpot Lord Byron once quipped that he "should like to die of a consumption," because that's the only way he could be hotter.
Looking beyond the obvious sex appeal of the visibly diseased, TB was also seen as a "clean" way to die. Its symptoms were clear and its progression predictable, giving you time to get your affairs in order before you hacked up your final gore-filled loogie. Stop, stop -- we can only get so aroused.
2016 is almost over. Yes the endless, rotten shit hurricane of a year which took away Bowie, Prince and Florence Henderson and gave us Trump, Harambe and the Zika virus is finally drawing to a close. So, to give this bitch a proper viking funeral, Jack O'Brien and the crew, which includes Dan O'Brien, Alex Schmidt, and comedian Caitlin Gill, are going to send out 2016 with Cracked's year in review in review. They'll rectify where every other year-in-review goes wrong by giving some much needed airtime to the positive stories from the 2016 and shedding light on the year's most important stories that got overlooked. Get your tickets here.
For more ways our forebearers were kind of really weird, check out 5 Bizarre Ways Our Ancestors Solved Major Crimes and 5 Reasons 'Traditional Marriage' Would Shock Your Ancestors.
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