Super Smash Bros. Brawl Is A Finely Tuned Sport ... With Random Tripping
Super Smash Bros. is one of the deepest fighting game series out there. Beneath its cutesy, approachable exterior is a system that allows for high levels of mastery. That's what makes it such a major title in the competitive gaming scene. And though there have been five entries in the series, many players still prefer the first, from way back in 2001. Why play a 15-year-old game? Well, because Super Smash Bros. Brawl (2008) introduced a feature known as tripping -- a chance that your character randomly falls on their ass, and then almost surely gets that ass handed to them.
"Oh, did you fall down, asshole!?" -- this video game
The way the tripping mechanic works is as simple as it is misguided: Every time you move in the game, there is a chance you eat shit instead. See here, as a player using Link gets his own bomb knocked back at him by Princess Peach. Link wisely tries to get away from the bomb, but something in Nintendo's evil logic replaced 'defend' with 'banana peel.' Against the player's will, Link drops down to better expose his anus and perineum to the grenade.
"Oh, did you fall and lose an asshole?" -- this video game
These are characters we've watched bound across floating lava islands and ice conveyor belts for decades, and suddenly they move like drunken roller skate thieves? Even Sonic the Hedgehog can trip, and he probably got to this fistfight by running 70 mph through a corkscrew littered with hula hoops. If there was even a tiny chance that Sonic could trip, he would have been called Unexplainable Red Smear of Teeth and Needles in a Crater 20 years ago.
Jesus, you're drunk, Sonic.