Okay, that should do it! Well, not quite. Remember, you're in a DNA memory time travel simulation thing. We're only exiting that. And to get to the medical facility holding that simulation thing, it's going to take some loading. So this step is patiently waiting.
Hold on, just seven or eight more steps!
When it's done loading, you're given another menu, where you have to select "Exit Animus." You'll then watch yourself slowly get up from your neural device. You're back in your player's real world, and one step closer to getting back to your own personal real world!
"Awake already? You only started quitting the simulation eight minutes ago!"
Hold up. When the unskippable cutscene of you struggling to your feet finishes, you'll be able to continue to the next step.
When the game lets you, press escape another time to pause it another time. Feel free to scream or laugh, depending on how you deal with the absurd.
Oh, hello again, pause menu! You haven't aged a bit!
Congratulations! You're out of the game! Oh shit, wait.
There's a bit more loading to do.
At this point, you have to select your player profile from a list and wait for the game to inexplicably load it. And once it does, Assassin's Creed is pretty sure that after exiting the game twice, you might consider starting a new game. So it takes you to the main menu, where your options are NEW, CONTINUE, and EXIT. Hit CONTINUE if you'd like to restart the quitting process. Hit NEW if you have amnesia and aren't quite sure what's going on. Hit EXIT if, after all this time, you're still looking to quit.
Pressing BACK is a great way to keep the game uncertain of your true intentions.
Now, after passing through five menus and two layers of reality, the game will give you one final chance to take it back.
ARE YOU FUCKING CERTAIN!?
So there you have it: 11 steps to quit one game. Strangely enough, this was the same number of steps it took to get Assassin's Creed: Unity working. Next year will see the release of Assassin's Creed: Empire, and there's a rumor you can't even install it until the start menu's admission committee accepts your written essay and contacts all 10 of your character references. Good luck!
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There are angels, and they are not beneficent or loving. Check out the first two books in Robert Brockway's Vicious Circuit series, and pre-order the third, Kill All Angels, available December 26th.