5

Jurassic World: The Indominus Rex Was Part Human

Universal Pictures

4

Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory: Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory Is Dante's Hell

Paramount Pictures

3

Spectre: Bond Never Escaped From Blofeld

MGM Pictures, Columbia Pictures

In the latest Bond movie, Daniel Craig discovers the existence of an international organization responsible for most acts of espionage and terrorism around the world. No, not the one he discovered before; a brand new one, at least twice as evil as the first one.

He eventually gets captured by the organization's leader, Blofeld (Christoph Waltz), who tries to give Bond a lobotomy because death is too good for him or whatever the excuse was this time for not just shooting his ass on sight.

MGM Pictures/Columbia Pictures
"I'm all caught up on Netflix and kind of bored, really ..."

Surprise, surprise, it turns out death wouldn't have been too good for Bond as he breaks free from his restraints, somehow, and shoots his way out of the base, also somehow. Actually, the rest of the movie has a lot of these "somehow" moments, including the time Bond shoots down a helicopter with a pistol.

MGM Pictures/Columbia Pictures
Still less silly than doing it with a cop car but only barely.

All these improbable moments are actually why some reviewers have postulated that Spectre took us on a vacation to Brazil in the third act, and that everything after the torture scene takes place in Bond's degenerating mind.

Consider the movie's ending. So far, every Craig-Bond movie ended on a downer note: dead girlfriend (Casino Royale), dead friend (Quantum Of Solace), dead mother figure (Skyfall). But in Spectre, not only does Bond save the day and prove the worth of the cancelled double-0 program, but also rides off with the Bond girl into the sunset. Oh, and, the two of them supposedly realized their loved for each other right around the time of Craig's "attempted" lobotomy.

2

Blade Runner: Gaff Hates Deckard Because He's His Robot Clone

Warner Bros.

In the 1982 groundbreaking cyberpunk action mystery noir film Blade Runner (which was groundbreaking mostly for how many genres it mashed together) Harrison Ford plays an ex-cop named Deckard hunting down replicants, bio-robots that went rogue. He's recruited for the job by Gaff, a mysterious figure who works with the LAPD played by Edward James Olmos.

Warner Bros.
"Surely this will be the last time I portray a guy dealing with robots that look just like people."

Everyone has heard the theory that Deckard himself is a replicant (if you haven't, there's a theory that Deckard himself is a replicant) but the more interesting take on the character is actually much weirder: He's actually a robot implanted with Gaff's memories.

Gaff appears to be a veteran of the police force and walks with a limp, which implies that he has been injured in the line of duty. Perhaps not wanting to waste an important asset, the police department decided to transfer all of his smarts and experience into a brand new, synthetic body, i.e. Deckard. How else do you explain him just absolutely hating Deckard seemingly for no reason? When Gaff "first" meets Deckard, he scowls at him like he had slept with his wife and drank all his beer.

1

Deadpool: Deadpool Wrote His Own Movie

20th Century Fox

Deadpool was the film that proved R-rated superhero films could also be super fun.

20th Century Fox
Eat it, Zack Snyder.

The film was a masterpiece of action and dramedy and satire. It was also rumored to be authored by the title character: Deadpool. Yes. The comic book character. According to one theory, Deadpool wrote the movie Deadpool.

20th Century Fox
The clues were there in the first few seconds of the movie.

The idea that Deadpool wrote Deadpool within the X-Men cinematic universe (i.e., not in real life) actually makes a ton of sense. It explains why the character Deadpool repeatedly breaks the fourth wall and why the movie's Colossus looks nothing like the guy introduced in X-Men 2. It's all because Deadpool is a movie within a movie franchise, meaning that it's a film Hugh Jackman's Wolverine or Halle Berry's Storm probably paid money to see, and later walked out of.

And another thing: Why does Deadpool look like Ryan Reynolds? Because of a panel from Cable & Deadpool Vol. 1 #2:

Marvel Studios
Actually, this part isn't a theory.

There you go -- the "real" Deadpool was probably butt-ugly before he got his Weapon X treatment. But, since this is his movie and he's in charge, you bet your ass he made himself Ryan Reynolds, gave himself a hot girlfriend, and threw a few strippers in as well. Which, let's be honest here, is something that Deadpool would totally do.

Billy Fitzsimmons is a freelance writer, check out his awesome articles here. Jacopo della Quercia is the author of two books that you can own right now by clicking here.

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