So the next time you feel like a film is too long, remember that Hollywood hasn't cared what you think for almost a century, and probably never will. It's reassuring.
"Children Are Too Spoiled, Not Like When I Was A Kid!"
"Children these days need less Pokemon Go and more 'Pokemon? NO! Do your homework and go to bed!' There's a lack of discipline in this new generation, is our point. All those participation trophies and feel-good parenting guides have turned kids into spoiled little brats with no respect for their elders. The result? They become lazy, worthless punks who constantly get drunk, high, and pregnant. In our day, you got a spanking if you so much as looked at your dad funny, and we turned out better for it!"
"It's not too late to punch this sad sack into a model citizen."
Why It's Bullshit:
Let's start with the obvious: Every single generation has thought the subsequent generation was spoiled, going back to days when those sentiments were conveyed via cave paintings. But if you want evidence that the pussified Participation Trophy Generation isn't as bad as they say, look at the data.
The University of Michigan keeps track of various stats related to children (it's not as creepy as it sounds), and guess what? Kids today are less likely to become addicts or develop antisocial tendencies. Enrollment in higher educational courses is at an all-time high. Crimes, smoking, drinking, teenage pregnancy, and drug addiction levels among teenagers are all on the decline compared to what most adults today would refer to as "the good old days."
The New York Times
Present-day children are also way more active in community life in general, and are better behaved than those from previous eras based on most parameters. It may not always feel that way, but comparatively speaking, we're raising a generation of goddamn saints. So what is the mysterious force behind this improvement? The fact that we're moving away from the "I'll punch you and ground you for a week if you don't do what I say" style of parenting.
Yeah, it turns out sparing the rod doesn't spoil the child, because the rod was only teaching them that adults solve problems by whacking people with rods. Instead, all of those decades we spent studying behaviorism has resulted in better parenting. Parents are giving up more violent practices and focusing instead on forming emotional bonds and inculcating a basic respect for children's autonomy. And that shit works.
Huh. Who could have guessed that treating the little turds like human beings could help them in the long run?
Rachel P. has a webcomic called Terribilis Est, and her Twitter is @plehcar. No one will talk to Chris about films anymore after he only wants to communicate in graphs, so he tweets about movies instead at @NotQuiteCool.
You know all those facts you've learned about psychology from movies and that one guy at the party who says, "Actually ..." a lot? Please forget them. Chances are none of them are true. Take the Stanford Prison Experiment, the one famous psychology study people can name. It was complete bullshit. Funny story actually, it turns out that when you post flyers that say, "Hey, do you wanna be a prison guard for the weekend? Free food and nightsticks," you might not get the most stable group of young men. So join Jack O'Brien, Cracked staff members Dan O'Brien and Michael Swaim, and Psychology Professor Martie G. Haselton of UCLA as they debunk Rorschach tests, the Mozart effec,t and middle child syndrome, so soon you can be that person at the party who says, "Actually ..." Get your tickets here!
For more myths that just don't hold up, check out 20 Famous Stereotypes That Are Statistically B.S. and The 5 Most Statistically Full of Shit National Stereotypes.
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