You Don't Get To Keep Anything When You Leave
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In case you were wondering why Michelle Obama doesn't simply fill her wardrobe with gifts from designers who would be more than happy to buy a first-lady-sized billboard, it's because presidents can't accept gifts. Everything given to them, from Barca-Loungers to books, is considered the property of the American people -- hence the presidential library. Any ball gowns Mrs. Obama borrows for a particular important event gets chucked in there as soon as her ladies-in-waiting strip it off her, so you might as well buy the damn things.
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"I killed Bin Laden, and I don't even get this stupid T-shirt."
This famously got the Clintons in hilarious trouble. Before they checked out of the White House, they prowled around scooping up keepsakes like the place was on fire, taking $190,000 worth of goods that may or may not have been theirs to take. They had to return at least $28,000 worth of furniture that was conclusively identified as donations to the White House, and wrote a big check for the rest. It wasn't big enough to cover everything they took, but without definitive proof of who owned what, everyone presumably shrugged their shoulders and figured history probably wouldn't give a shit.
Deep inside us all -- behind our political leanings, moral codes, and private biases -- there is a cause so colossally stupid that we surprise ourselves with how much we care. Whether it's toilet paper position, fedoras on men, or Oxford commas, we each harbor a preference so powerful that we can't help but proselytize about it to the world. In the next live episode of the Cracked podcast, guest host Soren Bowie is joined by Cody Johnston, Michael Swaim, and comedian Annie Lederman to discuss the most trivial things we will argue about until the day we die. Get your tickets here!
For more presidential wackiness, check out The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time and 6 Great US Presidents and Their Crimes Against Humanity.
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