3

Sharks Don't Really Want To Eat People

Universal Pictures

Although sharks may seem like malevolent kill machines, they're actually super shy and mostly just confused about us, a creepy alien species from the great waterless void above. Sharks almost never actively go after humans. In fact, the most common cause for shark attacks is people provoking the shark. They'll try to pet or otherwise interact with them, because we guess they haven't seen Jaws enough times. It's probably on TBS right now, guys. Check it out.

Universal Pictures
And if you still want to pet a shark, you're gonna need a bigger brain.

2

Grenades Don't Mean Instant Death

HBO

There are hundreds of grenade models of varying lethality, but in movies, the term "hand grenade" almost exclusively refers to this guy:

Warner Bros.
Except in Michael Bay movies, where they're called "screenplays."

That's a fragmentation grenade, and they're far from the hand-held Death Star that Hollywood shows us. The anatomy of a frag grenade is simple: an explosive core wrapped in brittle material. When the core goes off, it will fling said material in every direction. At a close distance, they're fatal. However, their main use is simply to cause mayhem by hurling fragments far beyond the killing radius. This ability to wound the enemy creates a strategic advantage: Suddenly having to take care of a wounded soldier or two burdens the uninjured a whole lot more than blowing said soldiers to smithereens would.

Universal Pictures
"If the explosion kills the supporting guy in Act 1, you don't lose the badass fight scene
in Act 3, because they're stuck carrying his ass." -Hollywood Chekhov

1

It's Nearly Impossible To Drown In Quicksand

Columbia Pictures

In spite of what Hollywood shows you, quicksand is not nature's Sarlacc. In fact, unless you dive in face first, it's unlikely to kill you at all. Like lava, quicksand is far denser than the human body, so while it might pull you in waist-deep, there's no way for it to suck you in all the way. Researchers have found it strangely difficult to recruit volunteers for their "Hey, try to drown in this quicksand" experiments, but the classic movie-style sinking scenario has been simulated by throwing beads with the same density as the human body in facsimile quicksand. They never dipped more than halfway, and actually resurfaced on their own after a while.

So, if you ever find yourself stuck in quicksand for reasons we generously assume are not related to raiding ancient temples, here's what to do: Resist the urge to try to yank yourself free. If you try pulling yourself up, you will fail, and the sand's strong downward pull means any potential rescuers attempting to tug you out are more likely to tear you in half than save your life.

Lucasfilm
Which makes this scene even stupider than before.

If you don't want to just hang out and play some Kim Kardashian: Hollywood on your iPhone until the sand particles settle naturally, researchers advise that you ... wiggle your legs around. No, seriously. Wiggling about creates a space where water can flow and make the quicksand around you looser. Do this slowly and progressively, and eventually the earth will vomit you forth like the indigestible idiot that you are.

20th Century Fox
"This isn't working. Our only chance is to sex our way out."
"... You planned this, didn't you?"

Katelyn tries a lot of things -- some fail, some are more successful. Check out a few of her successes on her website.

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