Drink This Stupid Frog Juice, Genius
THINGS THAT ARE GREAT IN SMOOTHIES:
-Kale or something
-Smaller smoothies that include the above ingredients
THINGS THAT ARE NOT GREAT IN SMOOTHIES:
-An entire frog
Despite the centuries-old smoothie laws established by the Blendo Concordant of 1262, a number of places in Peru are selling frog smoothies, claiming that it has a number of health benefits. The frog is bludgeoned to death in front of the customer, then skinned and dropped into a blender, because the universe has run entirely out of fucks to give these days. Add some carrots, honey, and maca root to the mix, and you've got yourself a fresh glass of Jesus Christ Why.
It's part of a balanced morning of regrets.
Vendors claim that it ameliorates anemia, bronchitis, low sex drive, and presumably horrific childhood memories of playing Battletoads, claims that are echoed in an oddly similar manner by some of the customers. It seems like something so gross must be healthy, because we've found several images of people drinking frog juice and absolutely nobody is having a good time. Maybe they just now realized that a skinned frog would produce a muck-colored smoothie, and the green you're looking at is from extra kale.
Time Travel Turtle