4

Operation Greenup: The Real Inglourious Basterds

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Operation Greenup was a daring mission in 1945 in which the Allied forces sent a covert team of highly trained Jewish soldiers into Nazi-controlled territory to cause as much havoc as earthly possible. If that sounds like it has shades of a certain Tarantino film, you're absolutely right. In fact, Quentin Tarantino can only wish his film was as badass as the real story. For starters, the Greenup team needed only three guys to completely and utterly wreck Nazi shit: Fred Mayer and Hans Wynberg, from the U.S. Office of Strategic Services, and Franz Weber, former Wehrmacht officer.

One was the brains. One was the brawn. One was the wildcard. All were the balls.

3

The Royal Air Force Trolls Hitler's Anniversary With A Crazy Bombing Mission

RAF

The 10th anniversary of the Nazi ascension to power is coming up. Luftwaffe head Hermann Goering and Propaganda Minister Joseph Goebbels are set to make speeches. However, you, the collective spirit of the Allied forces, are having none of that. If only there were some gloriously insane way you could absolutely wreck their party ...

Keystone/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Their Nazi Party Nazi party.

Cue the Raid on Berlin on Jan. 30, 1943 -- an operation conceived by the British largely to embarrass and piss off the Nazi higher-ups. They already had some experience on bomb-lobbing Berlin, but their attacks had mostly been nighttime missions, and the Nazi capital was defended by countless anti-aircraft guns and several of these doom-fortress flak towers:

RAF
The Nazis always built the best supervillain lairs.

If that didn't make the mission suicidal enough, the planes chosen for the mission were Mosquito bombers, which were fast but had the slight drawback of being constructed largely out of plywood. "So," said the collective pilots of the entire Royal Air Force, "let's recap: You want us to fly to the heavily protected enemy capital in the middle of the day, during one of their biggest celebrations, in rickety plywood constructs with large bombs strapped on, solely to mess with them? Holy shit that is hilarious. Where do we sign up?"

RAF
"Through adversity to the lolz."

2

The U.S. Navy Joins Forces With A Gangster To Keep Nazi Saboteurs At Bay

Hulton Archive/Archive Photos/Getty Images

As soon as America started flexing its war muscles, New York docks became a huge potential target for Nazi saboteurs. So how could you keep them safe?

The answer came as an offer they couldn't refuse.

William England/Hulton Archive/Getty Images
Ensuring dock workers needn't sleep with the fishes.

We've already talked about Operation Underworld and the Government's secret wartime work with Charles "Lucky" Luciano, but he was far from the only one taking part in the war effort. Another mob heavyweight, Meyer Lansky, was a Jewish gangster from New York, and one of the few mobsters who was paying more attention to what Hitler was doing to the Jews of Europe than what Mussolini was doing to the Cosa Nostra in Sicily.

Lansky and his crew had a massive bone to pick with the Nazi party, and they already had a good head start. Even prior to the attack on Pearl Harbor, Lansky and his men were taking pride in locating and busting up secret Nazi sympathizer meetings (heavy emphasis on the word busting).

New York World-Telegram
He spent the remainder of his time journeying with his good friend James Kirk.

1

A Squadron Of James Bonds Steals A Ship Using Prostitutes And Booze

Royal Navy

The mission: British Intelligence needs more, uh, intelligence from the Gulf of Guinea. Plan and execute a daring raid against three Axis ships anchored there, and steal the ships right out from under the nose of Spain, risking the creation of a fourth Axis nation. Do so under strict secrecy, and remember that you have been granted a license to kill.

Cue the James Bond theme, right? It's not a coincidence: Ian Fleming, apparently collecting material for his Adventures Of A Drunken Sociopath Who Sometimes Does Spy Stuff series, was a member of the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare. And he would later base his famous character on the guys who took part in this mission.

via Den of Geek
This is an actual photo of the four men involved.

The task, dubbed Operation Postmaster, was a risky one, because it meant breaching the waters of a neutral, potentially Axis-leaning nation. Luckily, the men of the Small Scale Raiding Force commando unit in charge of the mission came with all the skills necessary for a 1940s heist crew. On Jan. 14, 1942, the British raiders snuck onto the island of Fernando Po aboard a tug boat. Their first order of business was to distract the Spanish guards who patrolled the harbor area like clockwork. This distraction was accomplished with the help of a giant party, the local brothel, and copious amounts of liquor.

John Oxley Library
When you get booze and hoes together, a boat will spontaneously appear.

Once the raiders were certain that the Spanish guards were either hammered or hammering away, they made their way aboard the large Italian merchant vessel Duchess D'Aosta and its two accompanying German tugs, overpowered the crews, and made their jolly way off into the night, presumably with a smug one-liner and a martini in hand.

M. Storino is a freelance writer from Chicago with an affinity for old hats, the obscure, and the peculiar. To read more of his oddball writings, go here.

Wars are rife with completely insane behavior. For instance, Bill Millin's contribution to WWII was to play bagpipes while bullets whizzed by him during the Normandy landings. And then there's Piru Singh who took a machine gun nest while screaming and probably naked. See what we mean in The 5 Most Badass War Heroes Who Never Held A Weapon and The 5 Most Epic One Man Rampages In the History Of War.

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