Sites That Send Your Enemies Poop, Vagina Cleaning Kits, Or Dicks Of Various Sizes
Remember those fast, heady days in January when everyone seemed to lose their shit over a website that allowed irredeemable assholes to send packets of glitter (apparently the second worst thing that you could unexpectedly receive, outside of Ebola) to their "enemies"? Good, because those days are now forever, due to the Internet's collective inability to not beat a joke to death. For starters:
"Whoever's sent this can ... well, you know."
Yes, for the low, low price of $too-much-money, budding Richard Nixons everywhere can arrange for their enemies to receive anything, from a pack of dick-shaped gummies, to $8.99 worth of literally nothing, to poop. Just poop. Get it? Because poop is bad? Come on, an eight-year-old would find that hilarious -- just not the specific eight-year-old girl who got sent a bucket of poop through the site and thought it was chocolate ice cream. Luckily, her mother realized what it really was before they broke out the whipped cream and sprinkles.
For the truly committed psychopaths out there, you can even arrange for your future murder victim to receive a gigantic cardboard penis or a vagina cleaning kit, because that's the price they'll all pay for having ignored you in school. But at least those sites displayed some amount of creativity; others flat-out copied the original glitter website (sometimes word for word), creating a bustling marketplace that all logic and reason says shouldn't exist. In fact, the word "glitter" featured in so many newly-registered website domains that it briefly became one of the top three words used in new registrations. We'll remind you that we still live in a world where boobs exist.
Sadly, as of this writing, glitterboobs.com doesn't exist.