To give Brown some credit, he donated a significant proportion of the money raised to charity. It wasn't his fault that the Internet decided this dumb project was weird enough to become the next big thing among people who confuse "being wacky" with "having a personality."
After this, it was the NoPhone, a piece of plastic shaped like an iPhone that was supposed to help people get over their smartphone addiction, presumably by replacing it with an addiction to spending money on useless shit. Then it was a project to create the world's biggest photo mosaic of Nicholas Cage's face. Somehow, that one failed.
Despite a sizable donation by one "N.C."
Then ... you know, we give up. There's just too many.
"But Cracked," you say, in an attempt to cleanse your soul of the shame of having donated to one of these campaigns, "it's all for fun, so what's the problem?" Well, it's the same problem that we have with celebrities using these sites: These campaigns soak up donations and media attention that could be spent highlighting projects that legitimately deserve funding (see: "saving cancer victims" above). There are projects that could better the world in an insurmountable number of ways, but nowadays, they need to register at least 0.7 on the LOL scale in order to have the barest chance of making it. And we know that we're right on this issue because Archer agrees with us.
"Information Wants To Be Free" Websites (That Are Anything But)
For some reason, Generation # (a term which we invented right now) is more aware of their right to information than any other generation before it. We want to be able to read, watch, or listen to anything at any time. Information belongs to everyone, man! Fortunately for us, some people on the Internet are more than happy to provide us with tools to help us with this ... and if they get rich doing that, so be it.
Firstly, AdBlock. It's a browser plugin used by millions to block the display of advertisements on websites, because it's not like the people running those sites have bills to pay or anything. People who would never steal a newspaper justify this by pointing out that some sites have ads that could harm your computer, and AdBlock is just the righteous tool to prevent that. However, it's a little-known fact that big companies can still have their ads displayed, even if a user has the program installed, as long as they pay AdBlock a fee. You might notice this as "completely the opposite of what the program is intended to do," or to put it another way, "complete bullshit."
"Annoying(ly not giving us money)."
However, AdBlock doesn't have anything on the revenue stream that WikiLeaks is currently drinking from: celebrity gossip. Whereas the site once prided itself on bringing us state secrets and evidence of corruption, it's taken to exploiting the Sony hack in the same way that TMZ exploits, well, everything. People can now go to WikiLeaks to read such tidbits as what albums Cameron Crowe listens to, how the backstage of Dr. Oz is run, and whether or not a bromance is developing between two television chiefs.
That is, of course, when they're not selling T-shirts for $21 and insisting that people refer to them as "open government activists" or "technologists." We don't know about you guys, but we're starting to suspect that Julian Assange might have an ego.
CORRECTION: A previous version of this article stated that filming had not begun on "The Sarkeesian Effect", one of the producers has contacted us to say that in fact production has begun and pointed to the existence of a trailer as proof of that fact. We have updated the text to reflect this. The trailer is well worth a watch.
With special thanks to David C. Bell. For more from Adam, check out his article on why conspiracies are ruining the world. You can also contact him at firstname.lastname@example.org with comments/questions/caring loudly.
Also check out If The Internet Was a High School and The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations on Wikipedia.