You Will Receive:
Which Means You Now Own:
Total First Year Cost: $6,080
Remember, "The 12 Days of Christmas" is a cumulative deal. Each day, you get all of the gifts from the previous days again, along with something new. That means on Day 2, after finally coming to terms with the fact that you're now responsible for the life and growth of a massive pear tree and a stupid bird, you get an identical set. Even worse, two more birds to go along with them. Turtle doves, which disappointingly look nothing like either of the things they're named after.
Keeping $560 per year as an estimate for what it costs to raise a bird and considering you have a second tree now, we're at $6,080 per year in upkeep costs alone.
On top of that, you have four birds now. Owning one bird is weird enough to the people around you; owning four puts you squarely in contention for the title of "craziest goddamn person we know." That won't cost you anything in a financial sense, but getting excluded from your friend group because you refuse to break up with that weirdo who keeps dropping birds off at your place will definitely take its toll emotionally.
We've all heard this song before, though. You don't break up. You keep going. You always keep going. It's sad, really.
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