Street vendors were quick to respond to the demand, with the different styles being named after the drug lords who were caught in them. You can even get your own name embroidered on the back, like a sports jersey but way more useful to the police if you commit a crime. As always, the government has publicly complained about the trend while acknowledging that there's little they can actually do about it, while Ralph Lauren has refused to comment because there's no way they'd come out looking good regardless of what they said.
The media has noted that, while this isn't the first fashion trend to have been inspired by drug dealers, it was the first widespread one and the first to not be derided as tacky. Christ, how bad were the previous fads? Did a bunch of dealers get arrested in parachute pants?
Cuartoscuro via mexico.cnn.com
Maybe when they call it high fashion, it's just a pun.
Drug Dealers Are Buried Like Pimp Pharaohs
Throughout history, powerful people have been buried in tombs that reflect both their era and their accomplishments. Pharaohs were laid to rest in magnificent pyramids, communist heads of state were embalmed in austere mausoleums, and ornery union leaders have been given unmarked graves in construction sites. But most historians agree that no pyramid, tomb, or parking lot has got shit on narco mausoleums, because King Tut didn't achieve timeless transcendence by installing a surround-sound system.
Between kitchenettes, playrooms for kids, cable, and other amenities, the resting places of drug lords are nicer than our living places. But that's what you get when you spend $420,000 on a goddamn castle.
If that's not hiding at least one trebuchet, we're going to be extremely disappointed.
It seems absurd, but when your industry's retirement plan is "get shot by the police," you don't exactly need to save for your golden years. It's a culture that's all about living large and showing off your wealth while you can. And that's why you can find a Mexican cemetery full of more clashing architectural styles than Disney World.
Jardines del Humaya is a surreal landscape where multi-story mausoleums built of marble, ivory, gold, and titanium are covered in tacky posters of their occupants wielding assault rifles. The mausoleum of a drug pilot is even adorned with crystal planes, because anything is possible when your bank account is large and your favorite architectural style is "yes."
Gladys Serrano via vice.com
Or "fuck yes."
And being dead is no excuse to stop the party. If you decide to take your next vacation to a drug lord cemetery because it's cheaper than Cabo, you might come across a lavish party being thrown in honor of a mausoleum's occupant. Organized by specialized party planners that charge around $3,000 a shindig, there will be lighting, altars, landscaping, and themed decorations. If the deceased was big on gambling, for example, you'll be able to spin a roulette wheel near his corpse. And, presumably, the sound system will be put to good use.
Gladys Serrano via vice.com
"Party at Joel's place! You can crank the music as loud as you want and no one in the neighborhood complains!"
Less lucky visitors will discover why bulletproof glass is used in construction, as every now and then a drug lord's enemy will decide that death is no reason to forgo a retaliatory attack. Or you might just discover a decapitated head at the entrance of a tomb. At least they won't have to take it far.
For more on organized crime, check out 5 Inspiring Acts of Kindness by Terrifying Crime Syndicates and 5 Bizarre Real Life Gangs That Put The Warriors to Shame.
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