It's not hard to see the appeal for dealers. Famous performers singing hyperbolic songs about your exploits so you'll live on forever in musical infamy? If our exploits weren't limited to surfing the Internet and eating Hot Pockets, we'd be all over that.
Songs range from your typical pieces of bravado ("The Boss of Bosses," "The Badass of Badasses") to claims that sound like they were taken from fantasy novels ("The Lord of the Skies") to brags that probably sounded better in their heads ("The Man With the Hummer"). What they all have in common are lyrics that glorify crime and awesomely cheesy music videos featuring people strutting around in cowboy hats, more guns than a shooting range, and effects stolen from MTV circa 1987. If you didn't realize they were singing about dismembering and boiling people alive, it would be downright adorable.
We've always been suckers for the sweet, melancholic sound of the bazooka.
Lyrics like ...
With an AK-47 and a bazooka on my shoulder
Cross my path and I'll chop your head off
We're bloodthirsty, crazy, and we like to kill
... are no different from your typical gangster rap or that weird phase Leonard Cohen went through, but it gets worrying when you learn that many of these songs are inspired by real events. And the performers aren't underground folk artists like your college roommate -- this is a multimillion-dollar business where albums go platinum, major concert venues are sold out, and groups get nominated for Grammys while looking like this:
Marco Ugarte/Associated Press
They didn't win any awards, but they went home with all of them.